Remind Me

Marinelle CabilloLeave a comment

Note to self when I don’t feel like myself:

Bring me back down to Earth,

I’m in my head again.

Remind me to speak kindly to myself.

Remind me of my values.

Remind me that I am worthy.

Remind me of my heart of gold.

Remind me to go easy on myself.

Remind me that I can’t change the past,

so I should just focus on becoming a better me.

Remind me that I’m so much more than my outward appearance.

Remind me of all the things that make me, me.

Remind me that this disoriented feeling is temporary.

Remind me who the fuck I am when I’m lost in my head.

Ovals To Circles

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I spent a good chunk of time

trying to turn an oval into a circle.

It was close enough, but not quite the perfect fit.

Still, I tried to force it to be a circle.

Even though deep down I knew the difference.

I tirelessly worked to get the oval

to resemble a circle the best I could.

It was like having an empty circle puzzle piece,

but I was trying to jam that oval piece in its place.

No matter what angle I turned or flipped it,

I knew it would never fit.

I had to accept that it was an oval all along.

Lesson learned: No matter how hard you try –

You can’t force things into being something they’re not.

Stop trying to turn ovals into circles.

False Mirrors

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You claimed to be my mirror –

forced me to see who I “really am.”

You pointed out my flaws,

all of my shortcomings,

and anything that you didn’t like.

Nothing about me ever got passed you, did it?

But your mirror is fogged –

clouded by your false judgements of me.

You forced the mirror to my face,

and screamed at me to see myself the way you do.

But I don’t. I won’t. And I never will.

For I know my heart is as pure as they come.

Now I know, the mirror you were forcing onto me,

is really just a reflection of yourself.

Fuck your false mirrors.

I can see myself clearly now.

Caterpillar Era

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I’ve always been intrigued by the caterpillar.

What a beautiful part of nature –

to see a living thing transform from 1 thing to another.

But the caterpillar literally has to die

before it can turn into a butterfly.

And nobody thinks twice about the process.

In fact, the rest of nature expects it.

Nobody wonders if the caterpillar was ready.

Nobody mourns the creature that it once was.

Nobody questions the evolution of the caterpillar.

Everybody just celebrates the end result –

when a beautiful butterfly emerges from the cocoon.

But I’m more intrigued by the metamorphosis –

the caterpillar doesn’t question the process.

It doesn’t try to resist its evolution,

or question what will happen in the end.

They go with their natural clock.

Unaware that with time, isolation, and fate,

it will evolve into something else entirely.

Daydreamz

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When I was little, I would dream of the day I found my person.

The person that knows me better than I know myself.

The person that loves me regardless of my shortcomings.

The person that would be there for me through the good and bad.

The person that would accept me for me, flaws and all.

The person that would essentially complete me.

Can you believe that? Me – a hopeless romantic.

But she’s shelled with insecurities and past traumas,

making it hard for her to open up easily.

But nonetheless, a romantic through and through.

All my life I’ve dreamt of the perfect man to do life with.

And though I know I still want all of that in a partner, the desire has shifted.

Shifted to make sure I’m all of those things for myself.

I know myself better than anyone else.

I love myself regardless of my shortcomings.

I am confident in my choices, and can be my own peace when times get hard.

I accept all parts of me, flaws and all.

I complete myself.

Can you believe that? Me – still a hopeless romantic.

I am becoming everything I’ve ever dreamed of.

Yes, I’ve Changed

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“You’ve changed.”

I know, and I’m glad.

What a shame it would be to remain the same.

To some, my growth can be seen as negative,

but I beg to differ.

The adjustments I’m making is growth.

The change you see is healing.

The difference in my mood is peace.

And I wear all of them well.

My progress is only offensive to those

who refuse to grow with me.

Now, I force nothing.

You call it a shame,

I call it an internal evolution.

You say I’ve changed,

and I say, “Thank you.”

Walking Contradiction

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I am a walking contradiction.

I crave adventure and new experiences,

but I’m annoyingly resistant to change.

To the public, I’m a social butterfly,

but I prefer small intimate gatherings instead.

I’m so open when I write,

but I still struggle to verbally communicate.

I encourage my loved ones to reach out if they need help,

but my pride gets in the way when it’s my turn.

I’m so ready for a fresh start,

but I mourn the life I’m leaving behind.

I’m excited for what’s to come,

but I’m scared of the unknown.

I am a walking contradiction, and it used to bother me.

But I know that two feelings can co-exist at the same time.

I may be a walking contradiction,

but I allow myself to feel both conflicting emotions openly.

I give myself grace in these realizations,

But… — There is no “but.”

I’m a walking contradiction, and that is perfectly fine.

Oh, To Fall Apart!

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Ironically, we try everything in our power to not fall apart.

We avoid the urge to crumble, and dread having to restart.

But what a liberating feeling it is to just be!

To just take life as it is and be emotionally free.

Free to fall apart if that’s what healing calls for.

Maybe it’s what the heart needs, have you ever thought of it like that before?

So much resistance to falling apart, we’re taught to just be strong.

You can keep the act up for some time, but honestly, not for long.

At one point the emotional burden will get too much to conceal,

then you’ll have no choice but to really show how you feel.

Ohhh, to fall apart and not feel shame!

I refuse to live my life playing emotional mind games.

The real shame is we live in a society that flaunts blocking what we feel –

They will crucify you if you ever show emotions that are real.

It’s actually better to let yourself fall apart when it is due.

Don’t hold back, feel what you feel, you’ll always find a way to get through.

Oh, how I’ve learned to fall apart peacefully and not resist…

The liberty to feel what I feel and just simply exist!

Right Place, Right Time

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I don’t know who needs to hear this,

but you’re right where you’re supposed to be.

Zoom out and see the bigger picture and then you’ll finally see.

I’m a firm believer that nothing is accidental,

and everything that happens is anything but coincidental.

You’re at this time and place in your life for a reason.

Give yourself grace as you pass through this season.

It’s okay to have a vision of what you want to come,

but just because you’re not there yet doesn’t mean you’re dumb.

Don’t be so easily convinced that you have to follow a set guide.

This life is yours, and only you can decide.

If something doesn’t go as planned, it wasn’t meant to be –

you probably don’t see it in the moment, but the universe will agree.

They call it a journey for a reason, so it’ll take some time.

Baby steps, up the ladder you’ll go, and slowly you will climb.

One day you’ll have everything you worked hard for and more,

but please don’t forget the now because you’re thinking of what else is in store.

You’re right where you’re supposed to be, trust me and take my word.

It may seem overwhelming at times, but trust the process is what I’ve heard.

You’re at the right place at the right time.

Don’t you worry, just trust that everything will be fine.

Ooo, That’s Too Deep

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When I feel something passionately, I got in the habit of just writing it out.

Jotting it down to understand it more later has always been the safest route.

I know what I go through is very relatable,

but whether I should share publicly is always debatable.

I have a back log of writing that is truly from the heart, but reveals too much of me.

It’s parts of my life that only close ones know, and don’t want the whole world to see.

I read back on them and think, “Damn, that’s quality ass work, but ooo, that’s too deep.”

For I respect my private nature, and for that, those posts only I will keep.

I’m a private person, and I don’t like people all up in my shit.

But I’m a writer, and I know speaking from the heart will always hit.

How ironic, I’m private but I share parts of me every week,

sharing my lowest moments have been some of my viewing’s peak.

Maybe one day, I’ll feel more comfortable to over-share.

But as of now, I feel like I wouldn’t dare.

I share what I’m comfortable with because it’s relatable and uniting.

In doing so, I need to make sure I set those boundaries in my writing.

Some things I want to write and keep just for me.

After all, not everything is meant for everyone to see.