Month: May 2016

This Is Not Goodbye…

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This blog was meant for a class I took at Skyline College, and our final post is to be a “FAREWELL” post to inform our readers that we will not be posting anymore. As the semester winds down, I’m realizing now that I really enjoyed doing this blog. Besides the deadlines for the class, I looked forward to writing on LOVEYOURZSTORY because I’m so interested in other people’s love stories. I was hesitant to write a goodbye post because 1. I hate goodbyes and 2. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to end the blog… after some great thought and my phone breaking less than 1 hour ago for the 2nd time in 2 months (whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!) I’ve decided that this is not goodbye, this is not where it is going to end.

I will remain posting on this blog, for I have grown attached. Over time my writing style may change to more laid back and personal since I will no longer do it for a grade. I might also be posting less frequently, but more when I get inspired.

I hope you the readers have enjoyed the stories I have posted up, because I  really have. And thank you to everyone who let me use their story.

Like I said, this is not goodbye. You’ll see my name again one day… but for now, this blog will do.

 

Helping The Family

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Maya and Julian met in middle school. In fact, Maya was Julian’s playful bully. She would make fun of him because he had a thick accent because he had just moved to San Francisco from the Philippines.

They ended up going to the same high school, Lowell High, and kind of stopped talking. Until freshman year at a homecoming dance, Julian attempted to dance with Maya. She felt awkward and to this day still doesn’t know why she felt the need to tell him he couldn’t dance. Embarrassed, Julian avoided her at school from then on- even at the bus stop!

Around junior year in high school the two started to talk again and Maya had asked Julian 1 year in advance to be a rose in her debut. He accepted, and Maya swears that’s when he first started to have a crush on her.

Senior year prom season came around and the first person Maya thought to bring was Julian. She felt comfortable around him since they had a long history together. They’ve been together ever since.

It was not always easy though. They are both Filipino, and had to keep their relationship a secret for a while since some Filipino parents are very strict on dating. But Julian’s dad suffered some complications and Maya drove him to the hospital.

“I first met Tito Dante when he was admitted to the hospital, at the time they all knew me as Julian’s friend, and I drove them late nights to the hospital as well, since Julian couldn’t drive,” Maya said. “Julian always reminds me that he’s appreciative since I was there when it was hard for his family. He also helped me when my dad had a stroke too. We really grew together by helping each other and our families.”

Now both families know that they a re officially  a couple, even though it was never formally said to Julian’s family. It’s sort of a taboo topic that they just don’t bring up but still acknowledge that she is his significant other.
“Both of our families always remind us that finishing college is important,” Maya said. “It’s the Filipino culture lol: no boyfriend/girlfriend until you finish school. But for Julian and I, I feel like we got together for a reason, It’s cliche I know, but seriously I wouldn’t be able to do/ get through the things I did or accomplish the things I did without him. And I know the same thing applies to him.”

The Forbidden Couple

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Ryan and Kelly are taking a big step and deciding to move in together. This is a big step for the couple, but they aren’t getting the support they wish they had.

Ryan is Indian and his family does not approve of him dating Kelly at all let alone move in with her. They want Ryan to end up with and marry an Indian girl. For this reason they do not want to meet Kelly at all.

“I think they don’t want to meet her because at first they thought it wasn’t going to last and now they just play it off like the relationship doesn’t exist,” Ryan said. “Moving in is rough because my dad helps pay rent but we thought at some point he’d stop if we made this jump. So I was looking at ways to make more money so we’d be ok to live with each other.”

When Ryan told his parents about the move, his father was really upset. A big fight broke out between the two because his  dad was not open to the conversation of Ryan moving in with Kelly.

Since Ryan’s dad helps him pay a portion of his rent, Ryan is planning to pick up a second job to just in case his dad decides to cut him off. His mom ended  up talking to the dad and now he is fine with helping out with the rent but Ryan doesn’t want to rely on his dad and then suddenly have him go back on his word.

“I didn’t talk to him for a couple weeks but he called me the other day,” Ryan said, “But I’m still not as comfortable around him as I used to be.”

When I asked how Kelly felt that they didn’t approve of their relationship, he said that at first Kelly was bummed out that they didn’t want to meet her. But now that time has passed it’s more of a frustrated “why don’t they want to meet me.”

Things might be starting to turn around because when i asked about if his mom was beginning to change her mind he said, “Yeah she’s open to meeting her and even though she isn’t too convincing about it, she says she’s ok with us moving in.”

Hopefully with time Ryan’s mom can accept the relationship and convince his dad to accept it too.

 

 

All For You

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Lee Ann graduated from SFSU with a Bachelors degree in Child Development in 2015. She has the most patients with children and has the biggest heart. All her former co workers could only tell me good things about her. She’s that kind of girl that nobody can ever speak ill about even if you tried. She has a heart of gold and a passion for learning.

She is now a pre school teacher and is working on getting her credentials. She is so relieved that all her hard work has paid off, saying that once you receive that diploma, everything you had to do to get to that point will be worth it. I congratulated her on all of her accomplishments and asked how her love life is and if there is someone special in her life.

Lee Ann told me that she didn’t have the normal “high school experience” like dating, going to parties, or being young and careless because she lost her father to ASL, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. 

“Losing my Dad really made me driven,” Lee Ann said. “I wanted to succeed for him. So I threw myself into school. And because of that I tried balancing work and school. It was also how I coped with grief. I somewhat pushed aside any kind of “social life”. The busier I was, the less I had to think. Education has always been so important to me. I’ve had a love for learning. The more I learned, the more experienced I felt. It gave me a sense of accomplishment.”

Education became Lee Ann’s main focus. It was her form of coping with the grief of losing her father. She told me how growing up she wasn’t involved in any sports or other activities. When I asked her why she told me that her father traveled a lot for work, but he would always come back home on the weekends. Her mom didn’t want to enroll Lee Ann in weekend activities because the weekend was a time for the family to be all together. She said she is happy that that’s how it was.

“The other reason I did that was so that I could focus on me,” Lee Ann said. “I was so unsure of myself and lacked confidence. If I wasn’t confident in myself how could I be supportive in a relationship? But now that school is done and I’ve reflected and grown a little bit of that confidence. There is one aspect that’s missing. I look forward to the future and being there for someone. I can’t wait to be a Mom and watch someone grow. Teach them and watch the world through their eyes.”

Now Lee Ann has accomplished what she wanted to do and now has a career. Next she will fulfill her next dream: to fall in love and start a family.

“I made room for this love, how foolish me,” -Wale

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Here on LoveYourzStory, I don’t only feature people’s love stories with happy endings. Life isn’t always a breeze where you find the love of your life on the first try. There is always going to be heart break and stories that people would rather not tell.

Luckily, Ulysses was open to sharing. He has been cheated on in 3 relationships and just can’t seem to catch on to the lies. Unfortunately, these experiences has molded him to not care about females anymore because he fears he will just get hurt.

One thing that bothers him is giving his loyalty and trust to someone who will just betray him in the end. So he doesn’t even give anyone the benefit of the doubt because he doesn’t want to waste his time.

“When I date a girl I give them all my time my energy and effort and dedication so that each time I get cheated on it just kills me,” Ulysses said. “And after a few I just can’t give anyone that much of my time because I am scared to get screwed over again… I feel if I’m going to be in a relationship they deserve all my time and love but that’s hard to do now when I’m being screwed over multiple times.”

To avoid getting hurt, Ulysses just hooks up with random girls and kicks them to the curb in the morning. He is okay with this type of living for now because he got out of a relationship over a year ago, so he’s just enjoying the single life.

Until the right girl comes along who deserves his time and loyalty, Ulysses is chillin’ and living up the bachelor’s life. And there isn’t anything wrong with that. Different situations make people switch up. He could be wallowing in his sadness, but instead he chooses to live his life. He’s not looking for anyone to complete him or fix him, he’s just doing Ulysses.

Cheering Them On

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Abdallah first met Gabriella on the SFSU cheer team. At first, Abdallah was interested in someone else who encouraged him to join the team. However, things kicked off for Abdallah and Gabriella 2 months later where they went to a cheerleading competition in LA and had to share a bed. On the car ride home, they sat next to each other and talked the whole way through. When they got back to San Francisco Abdallah asked if he could take her on an official date. The rest is pretty much history.

Abdallah is Filipino and Egyptian, so his father is strongly against him dating Gabriella because their religion. But Gabriella’s family is accepting of Abdallah. Her mom adores him.It was hard for Gabriella because she at least wanted his father to meet her first and then make judgement from there, but he is against the whole relationship.

While living at home, Abdallah was tired of having to be home by a certain time because of his parents’ strict rules. He told his father face to face that he was dating Gabriella, and his dad was not having it.
“So we were both taking about moving out, but not with one another,” Abdallah said. “By now we’ve been dating for a year or more. We both had our own group of people we were going to move in with but both our plans just started to fall out. Before we knew it we were the only 2 people and ended up moving in together.”

Telling his parents was not easy. His dad was furious that he was moving out, and on top of that with the girlfriend that did not share the same religion as them. His dad refused to talk to him or a few weeks, and Abdallah didn’t want to talk to him either because his dad wasn’t calm.

It has been a few months since he has moved out and his relationship with his dad has gotten better. His dad wants him to move back home, but Abdallah is on the fence because he wants to save money if he were to move back home, but the couple both feel like it would be a step back from all the progress they accomplished already.

Abdallah and Gabriella are both totally in love with each other. So whatever happens with the living situation, they are confident they will make it work.

When I asked Abdallah what he would do if his parents never accepts the relationship and are not supportive in the future if they want to get married he said, “If I want to marry her, I’m gonna marry her.”

Sac State

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“We both worked at sprouts doing crap jobs while in school,” Laurelyn said when I asked  how her and Christian met.”Then we both quit…we started dating after being friends for a little. Christian really wanted to be a cop and get his bachelors but school stressed him out hella hard. I don’t want to sound like I’m giving myself too much credit but I am a super good student and I feel like it rubbed off on him. But mostly he just hella wanted to be a cop so he pushed through. And now we are going to Sac!”

Christian and Laurelyn have been together for almost 3 years. They first started dating when Laurelyn was 18 and Christian was 22. Since they’ve been together, both have been pushing themselves to transfer out of the Petaluma community college and into a 4 year college.

Finally that time has come. Fall 2016 Christian and Laurelyn will be moving to Sacramento to attend Sac State together. They’re excited to get a place together.

“Christian really wanted to go to sac for their criminal justice program and I’m just hitching along since I didn’t really care where I went,” Laurelyn said. “We’ve been dating for almost three years so I’m definitely ready to move out and have our own space. It’s definitely going to be weird though and it’s a big step. We will probably get in more fights…but in a good way of that makes sense. My parents are totally cool with it. They love Christian. Probably the only thing they aren’t thrilled with is that I’m tagging along and not going to one of the better colleges for my major. But honestly I don’t care I don’t want to do long distance period.”

Laurelyn’s parents love Christian but like she said, they aren’t thrilled that she didn’t pick a school based on her major but more so that she didn’t have to be away from Christian. His parents on the other hand would prefer that he be with Laurelyn. They are thrilled that he has made it to a 4 year college and has Laurelyn there for support. Christian’s family adores Laurelyn, she gets along with all his cousins and his aunts and uncles love her. She has really been his saving grace.

Laurelyn’s biggest fear is the grocery list. Christian has an appetite of about 3 grown men and will down any meal with no remorse. She joked (or maybe she’s serious) that they would have separate grocery lists and she would label which food is hers in the fridge. Other than that, They’re so excited to start this new chapter in their lives.

Christian took a while to pick a major and follow through with it, while balancing out school, work, and a social life. So now finally transferring to a 4 year college, he is ready to move out of the house. And he’s even happier that his roommate will be someone he loves and who has helped push him.

So what’s next after they graduate? Laurelyn said her parents are already asking Christian when they’re going to get married. Lol stay tuned for a possible part 2 blog post on these 2 lovers!

Mr. & Mrs. Cruz

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Amberly and JT met and started dating when they were 16. The first time JT met Amberly he told his friend, “I’m gonna marry her.” Through many bumps in the road, they managed to stay together because their love for each other was stronger than the outside drama that was going on around them.

On their 8 year anniversary, JT popped the question, and in 2012, they officially became Mr. and Mrs. Cruz.

They waited a little over a year after getting married to start trying for a baby. On Thanksgiving 2014 they announced to their families that they were expecting.

Devastating news hit Amberly and JT when the doctor informed them that their baby girl was developing a mass in her lungs. At that point Amberly was still pregnant and blaming herself. She was thinking it was because of her that the baby had a mass in her lungs, she thought maybe it was something she ate or her trip to the Philippines that caused it.

Aly was born June 2015, and February 2016 she got the surgery regarding the mass in her lungs. She is happy, healthy, and always smiling.

“It was amazing to see how the roles changed between us,” Amberly said. “We’ve been together for almost 13 years and I was always the “strong one”… Like I’d know what to do or say in a situation and usually be the one to keep JT at ease. But when I found out Aly had a mass in her lungs and will need surgery, I was a mess! I was (and still am) constantly worrying/ paranoid. JT was my rock throughout everything. He listened to me, consoled me, and even handled the paperwork for her surgery, usually I handle everything but it was too much for me.”

Having a baby brought the couple closer together, and when life tested them, they stood by each other and consoled one another. The birth of their daughter has brought so much joy to their lives.

“It was really comforting to see the change in JT,” Amberly said. “Usually he’s quiet and I have to be the one to ALWAYS be strong. It was nice to let my emotions flow and have my husband be my rock throughout everything. As corny as it sounds, we are a team and I’m really lucky to have such a strong support system.”

The Skateboard

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Alex Bautista and Mark Navarro have been dating since the 8th grade! They have literally grown up with each other and hit milestones in life together.

Mark enjoys skating, and it has been his hobby for a while. He was even skating in the 8th grade when he met Alex. She really liked that he could skate and they hit it off from there.

Fast forward almost 6 years later and they both have grown so much since the first time they met each other, that they look back and reminisce on how skating really helped their relationship.

“We obviously didn’t drive back then, so he would skate to my house to come see me,” Alex said.

When she said that Mark laughed, “Yeah on that big hill!”

Without his skateboard Mark would have to travel great distances to make it to Alex’s house ( which by the way is in a gated community that sits on the steepest hill of all!). They attended different high schools and Alex remembers how Mark would skate to her house and be there by the time she got home. That’s pretty hard for a couple of teenagers that are trying t maintain a relationship with no means of transportation.

They both plan to move to San Jose together next fall where Alex will be attending SJSU and Mark will be attending a nearby community college. They are excited to finally get their own little place together and be more independent.

Mark works a lot now a days and doesn’t skate as often as he used to. But they like to look back at how far they have come along and it wouldn’t be possible without Mark’s skateboard.

 

The Workout

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Chris Barous is a Skyline student that frequently works out at the gym. His love for fitness originated after the break up with his long time girlfriend.

After Chris’s deployment in the Army, he moved to the Bay Area to be with his girlfriend. He left everything he knew in Florida, the place where he grew up. Chris told me that he didn’t know anyone else in the Bay Area besides his girlfriend, who then turned into his ex girlfriend.

Chris thought the gym would be a great outlet to let out all of his stress and get his mind off of the break up. He thought the first step would be to work on his appearance, to build his self confidence again.

Working out not only makes him feel good health wise, but also on the outside. He stays and works out at the gym on average from 1-2 hours everyday.

One word of advice that Chris had to offer me was: “Don’t move anywhere for anyone. Make sure it’s for you and not just for the other person. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”