Note to Self: Love Yourz

For when you forget how far you’ve come:

You’ve upkept this blog for the last 5 and a half years to give yourself a writing outlet when the post-grad blues were hitting. You didn’t know where it would take you, or how long you’d keep it running, but you knew you had to start somewhere. You have had the privilege of telling your story, and the stories of countless others.

At times you felt conflicted about being so publicly vulnerable, for you keep to yourself, very intentional about keeping your circle small. But you went with your gut feeling and ran with it. This blog has evolved and changed with you as you went through the many stages of life. You’ve documented your grief, heartbreak, happiness, growth, the parts of you that still need healing, and everything in-between. The last 5.5 years of writing has taught you many things, and this is what you’re taking away as you start your next journey –

You are allowed to change your mind. This is your life, act like it. Nobody has to agree with your decisions, as long as it makes sense to you. People pleasing will get you nowhere. If you’re living your life with others in mind, you won’t be living for yourself. You’ll look back and think what you could’ve done differently had you chose yourself and what you wanted. So leave no stone unturned. You’ve always done things on your own time, you have to live and learn for yourself.

And if at any point you continue down a path that you realize is not what you want anymore – it’s okay to pivot. It’s okay to change directions. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to start over. And you have had to click the restart button many times before. Don’t let starting over be the reason why you overstay your welcome. This is your life, you steer it in any direction you please.

No matter how fucked up life can get, your heart will remain untainted. Your biggest flex is your heart, your loyalty, the love you pour into others. You move with pure intentions, so believe me when I say – you will always win. Even when the journey gets tough and things seem to not work out in your favor, trust that you will get everything you want and deserve.

You will forever be a work in progress. Perfect doesn’t exist and growth is never linear. But you control your own narrative. You are truly 1 of 1. Own your past, present, and what is yet to come, because your journey is yours. Love yourz because you create the life you want to live. Make sure it’s what you want.

You don’t know what the next chapter will look like after you shut this down, but you know it’s time. Time to explore different creative outlets, time to pour into other things, time for change. Wore my heart on my sleeve for the past 5.5 years and allowed myself to be vulnerable and real. Thank you to everyone who has been along for the ride.

Note To Self – Love Yourz.

Note To Self: Believe

For when you’re feeling pessimistic:

No matter how hard life can get, I hope you never stop believing. Believing that good things will happen, miracles are real, and speaking it into existence works. You attract and manifest what you believe – don’t ever count yourself out of your own blessings. You are deserving of all good things that have yet to come your way. There is no such thing as “too good to be true.” All of it can happen.

You know firsthand how the universe will give you everything you’ve ever wanted and more in due time. Your dreams are as big as you make them. Speak on them as if they are already yours. Be so confident in your belief that everything works out for you and you’ll always win in the end – because you will. What you water will grow, so focus on the endless possibilities where you get everything you’ve prayed for. Not on some materialistic shit, because you know that’s not where your happiness lies.

You have always been a dreamer. I hope you’ll always find a way back to believing in something bigger and truly believing that it will happen for you. And when it happens, I hope you know that you deserve it, all of it.

Note to self – Never stop believing. You deserve it all.

Note To Self: Remain You

For when you feel wronged:

As hard as it can be – don’t ever let someone have the power to take you out of your character. You know you’re better than that. Matching someone’s energy in spite will only hinder your own light. Don’t stoop down to levels where you know you don’t belong. There’s no need for revenge, to get even, or to prove a point, because you know eventually people will have to reap what they sow… So wish them well.

You wish well on others because you know eventually everyone will get back what they put in. The universe has a funny way of teaching lessons. So let karma deal with it. There’s no point in wasting your energy on people and situations that drain you. You have nothing to prove. Don’t you ever underestimate your power to wish well on those who never deserved your grace.

I refuse to let you reciprocate the same hate, bitterness, or jealousy that some have projected onto you. There is no room in your heart for that. It’s okay to feel angry, upset, and wronged, but don’t let the actions of others turn you into the villain in your own story. You’re stronger than that. Feel it, then let it go.

Note to self – your heart has no room to wish anyone ill will.

Note To Self: Trust Yourself

For when you’re doubting your intuition:

You’ve always learned the hard way why you should never ignore your gut feeling. It doesn’t matter if your intuition doesn’t make any sense to anyone else. If it’s not a yes, it’s a no. If it has to be forced, it’s a no. If the feeling is even slightly off, it’s a no. Your intuition is your protection. Trust it.

Know the difference between listening to your gut feeling and just being scared / anxious. Those are 2 completely different feelings – one is your body’s initial reaction to a situation, while the other is governed by fear of the unknown. But I know you can distinguish the difference between the two, this is your reminder.

But most importantly, trust yourself. Trust that you can read each situation and make the best choice for yourself. You know yourself more than anyone else, you don’t have to explain or justify your decisions. If it makes sense to you, that’s all that matters. You’re strong enough to block out the opinions and noise of others. Stop doubting yourself, you know what you want.

Note to self – trust your intuition.

Note To Self: It Will Always Work Out

For when you’re feeling anxious:

You should know by now that things will always work out for you. Don’t overthink it – it will all pan out the way it’s supposed to, and sometimes even better than what you could’ve imagined. Why are you so caught up on the what if’s? Stop projecting negativity and doubt into your plans. Trust that you will never miss out on what’s yours.

The journey will never go as planned, so be patient with it. Let go of the desire to control. Be brave enough to take chances – things fall apart to fall back into place. Trust the process. What’s meant to be yours does not have to be forced. If it’s for you, it will never miss you.

You always do this – stress every possible scenario… and for what? As long as your heart and intentions stay pure, you’ll always win in the end. No matter what, you will always be okay.

Note to self – Stop overthinking. It will always work out.

Note To Self: You v. You

For when you feel like you’re falling behind:

Everyone is running their own race. It’s useless to get sidetracked with what others are doing when their journey is not yours. There is no competition. YOU are your biggest competition.

You get in the way of your own success when you distract yourself with timelines. Fuck the outside noise. This race is all mental – your mindset can delay your blessings, or bring you closer to them. Don’t focus on what you haven’t achieved, don’t have, or have yet to figure out, the lack mentality will have you comparing your successes to others for validation. And what does that achieve?

You mentally win when you remember that someone else’s success does not impede your own. Continue to be genuinely happy for others when they’re joyful and winning. Stay in your own lane and clap for others when it’s their time. We are all running different races, what works for one will not work for all.

Since this is YOUR race, only YOU can win it. And you’ll always win because you move with love and your heart and intentions are pure. You don’t see competition because there is no competition. When your eyes are set on your own track, there’s no room for distractions. You can’t lose a race that’s meant for just you. You know you can’t miss what’s meant to be yours. Keep going.

Note to self – There is no competition. It will always be You v. You.

Note To Self: Never Linear

For when you feel like you’re going backwards –

It’s discouraging as fuck to feel like you had it all figured out at one point in time, only to find yourself repeating patterns that you thought you’ve outgrown. Defeated. You’re better than this though, and I know you know it. Shift the lens. Instead of seeing it as regression, take note of what still needs your attention, it’s resurfacing for a reason. Those triggers are the seeds that still need watering. You’ve worked so hard and seen so much progress, but you’re also still learning. Your efforts are not wasted. Be patient. 3 steps back can catapult you 10 feet forward.

Note to self: Healing is never linear. Learn and just keep going.

Note to Self: Gray

️1 of 10. LoveYourzStory’s “Note To Self Series” – The Last Series. ️

You read that riiighttt. It has been my pleasure to share my journey & yours for the last 5+ years. I’ve connected with so many people in my community and around the world (not even exaggerating), and I would like to give the biggest THANK YOU to anyone who has ever read, shared, reached out, been a part of one of my series, or has cheered me on loudly or privately – thank you. This is definitely not the end, but I feel it in my bones that it’s time to shift gears and take my writing down another route. Until then, please enjoy the 10 lessons I’ll take with me – let’s get to #250…

 

What a summer, what a summer it has been…

Took a little break and thought it would just be for a min.

Life will take a sharp left and suddenly your whole world will shake.

I had to listen to every sign that was begging me to take a break.

I swore I thought I knew what it meant to be stuck in limbo…

But I was never in the house, just always looking in from the window. 

Not in the black, not in the white, I found myself in the in between…

Can I open my eyes now? Please tell me this was all a bad dream.

Now I truly know what it means to be stuck in the gray.

No right, no wrong, it all can go either way.

The “gray area” has a new meaning to me now…

Still trying to process this, but I still don’t know how.

The root for everything will always be love… but what more can I say?

Marinelle, you’ll never forget when you found yourself in the gray…

Plead The Fifth

Time has taught me the beauty of letting people believe what they want.

You don’t always have to explain your choices, life decisions, or opinions.

There’s no need to set the record straight, to defend, to clarify –

For what? Stand firmly in your truth.

Not everything has to be shared or be made public knowledge.

It’s ok to bask in your privacy – What does it really mean to be seen?

Having access to someone’s life and true thoughts is a privilege.

There are 3 sides to every story, and not everyone will have access to mine.

People will always have their point of view on you – But what’s there to prove?

Someone else’s opinion does not define your character.

Live your life – Some things don’t deserve your explanation.

To Keep The Peace

You were taught to bite your tongue – you don’t want to offend.

To shutdown when things got heated – it’s best not to address the issue.

To ignore your own feelings – you’ll get over it eventually.

To do anything to keep the peace… but at your expense.

Look where that got you.

Undo the mindset that communication means conflict.

Do not self-sacrifice your own peace of mind for the sake of others.