As hard as it can be – don’t ever let someone have the power to take you out of your character. You know you’re better than that. Matching someone’s energy in spite will only hinder your own light. Don’t stoop down to levels where you know you don’t belong. There’s no need for revenge, to get even, or to prove a point, because you know eventually people will have to reap what they sow… So wish them well.
You wish well on others because you know eventually everyone will get back what they put in. The universe has a funny way of teaching lessons. So let karma deal with it. There’s no point in wasting your energy on people and situations that drain you. You have nothing to prove. Don’t you ever underestimate your power to wish well on those who never deserved your grace.
I refuse to let you reciprocate the same hate, bitterness, or jealousy that some have projected onto you. There is no room in your heart for that. It’s okay to feel angry, upset, and wronged, but don’t let the actions of others turn you into the villain in your own story. You’re stronger than that. Feel it, then let it go.
Note to self – your heart has no room to wish anyone ill will.
You should know by now that things will always work out for you. Don’t overthink it – it will all pan out the way it’s supposed to, and sometimes even better than what you could’ve imagined. Why are you so caught up on the what if’s? Stop projecting negativity and doubt into your plans. Trust that you will never miss out on what’s yours.
The journey will never go as planned, so be patient with it. Let go of the desire to control. Be brave enough to take chances – things fall apart to fall back into place. Trust the process. What’s meant to be yours does not have to be forced. If it’s for you, it will never miss you.
You always do this – stress every possible scenario… and for what? As long as your heart and intentions stay pure, you’ll always win in the end. No matter what, you will always be okay.
Note to self – Stop overthinking. It will always work out.
For when you’re upset that things aren’t going how you’ve planned:
Look at how far you’ve come. You used to be so hung up on things having to be exactly how you planned it out to be. And if the timing or circumstances weren’t perfect, you’d wait. This way of thinking always had you believing that happiness was at the next achievement, the next paycheck, or the next chapter in your life. That mentality delayed your happiness.
Now you know there is never going to be the “perfect time” to be happy or get the ball rolling on what you want. You’ve cracked the code: happiness is in the present moment … if you choose to see it. And the perfect time to do and want better will always be in the now.
Because YOU are not perfect either. And it’s okay to change your mind, to pivot your life’s direction, to set new goals. You’re forever learning and unlearning, and because of that, you are forever making decisions on how to move next. Life is not perfect. Trust your gut and be patient with yourself and others. Realize that others are not perfect either, but our imperfect imperfections are what makes us, us.
Note to self – There’s no such thing as perfect. If you wait for everything to go as planned, you’ll be waiting forever.
Post 7 of 10 of LoveYourzStory’s Jhené Aiko Series. Inspired by “Define Me.”
I’m deep in my Jhené Era. She’s def the top artist I’ve been listening to on repeat for at least the last 6 months. This series will be a showcase of how her music has inspired me throughout this journey – the journey back to self✨️
Note to self –
There will come a day where you meet the reason why you never settled.
When that day comes, I pray you have the self-awareness to realize when you’re starting to run.
I pray you have the discernment to know the difference between a gut feeling and the natural instinct to self-sabotage when things are great.
I hurt a little inside knowing that you are weary of good things because it is so foreign to you.
But embrace what is being presented to you – don’t run from things that seem too good to be true.
You deserve the world, let the world give it to you.
And when you get the slightest inkling to detach in fear, I hope you remember to move with trust and love.
It was like those movies where they start off in the middle of a scene, and you slowly have to put the context clues together to figure out what is happening. The story started to unfold slowly.
All I know is, I’m hysterically crying, I’m scared, and I can feel it in my gut that I need help. I’m standing in front of a bathroom mirror, looking at myself completely breaking down. I’m erratically crying, and to my left is my older sister at the doorway. I’m yelling at her to help me. It was such a desperate plea, I was begging her to believe me. What was I screaming?
That I needed a fucking exorcism performed on me.
She looked at me calmly. She’s trying to convince me that I’m fine. I look in the mirror, and I have a “That’s So Raven,” moment – I see a flashback of a priest performing an exorcism on me. Michelle kept reassuring me that I was fine, it was taken care of, and whatever darkness lurked in me was gone… Or so they thought.
I was in a panic. I could physically feel my adrenaline going, my heart was pounding out of my chest, and I was sweating. I was fucking terrified. But I was getting mad. In between hysterically crying, I told Michelle that I know for a fact I needed an exorcism. I kept trying to prove to her that I felt off even though on the outside I appeared to be fine.
She was so nonchalant. Giving me a look like, “This bitch is trippin’.” Which makes it funnier, because if anyone knows my older sister personally, they know firsthand that she would be freaking the fuck out, probably run out of the room before I even asked for help. But here she was, not believing me. She was as calm as ever, repeating that there was nothing up with me.
I was so frustrated. There wasn’t anything I could say for her to believe me. How could she tell me what I was feeling? In theory, yes, it should be gone, but it wasn’t. How was she so sure? But I knew it. I knew the truth. I was the one living and feeling it. At that point I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. Nobody was going to believe me. Everyone was just going to try to convince me that I should be okay.
My fight or flight kicked in, and I remember hunching over the bathroom sink, staring myself in the eye in the mirror. I went from weeping uncontrollably to being silently focused. I knew nobody was going to save me. I had to save myself. The only thing I could think to do was pray.
As I prayed, I could literally feel the bad energy leaving my body. I’m reciting the “Our Father,” not breaking eye contact with myself in the mirror. Whatever it was that was possessing my body and mind started to reveal itself, but only in my thoughts. It was a dark energy, and it’s as if a vacuum was pulling it out through my mouth. I kept praying and knew that my faith was stronger than whatever darkness was there.
At the end of it, I felt like me again. Nothing dark dwelled inside me anymore. I felt so light, and a calm took over my body. I looked at my sister, as if performing a damn exorcism on myself was a normal thing to fucking do.
“See, I told you.” I said, looking at myself in the mirror again. Even in a dream, I still had to be a know it all…
I thought about that dream the whole day and some time after. It was so intense and so detailed that I couldn’t shake it off. About 2 weeks after the dream, I told my sister about it and how I interpreted it:
I had that dream about 2 months after a break up. It was still so new and so fresh. Everyone that I told my life update to had advice to give on everything and anything – tips on when and how to move forward, dating, how I should process things, etc. I got so much love and support from all my loved ones, but I took everything with a grain of salt. I’m a very particular person, the queen of detachment at times, so I knew that my healing journey was something that would be entirely my own.
At the end of the day, everything needs to be on my time. I’m the only one that knows how I really feel. You can have a million people in your ear giving you great advice. But what I’ve learned so far is this: There are no rules on how to process things, everyone deals with life differently. All that matters is that you are comfortable with the decisions you make for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else does. Go at your own pace, allow yourself to feel what you need to feel, and face those uncomfortable -and at times, dark – feelings head on. Avoiding your true feelings will just prolong your healing process. Have faith in knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Thinking about that dream months after the fact, I feel like it was a sign to myself to remember to listen to my gut feelings. You know what’s right for you.
Love Yourz Story 