Joniel: Representation In Modeling

This is story 6 of 10 of LoveYourzStory’s Creatives Series. I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of getting to know 11 individuals who are passionate about creating. It was interesting to learn where each individual drew their inspiration from. I wanted to shift the attention on other Creatives and tell their stories on what motivates and excites them in their respective field. Thank you to everyone who participated in this series! – Marinelle Cabillo, LoveYourzStory

Joniel’s intro into the modeling world is not what most people would think. He was always into fashion and interested in modeling, but never really had the motivation to take those necessary steps to get his foot in the door. It was actually a traumatic experience that motivated him to change his style, which led to him modeling for well-known companies like Nike and The North Face.

It was 3 days before his high school graduation, and Joniel was racially profiled in front of his Bay View home. He remembers there were about 6 police cars and 2 S.W.A.T buses. Joniel was detained at a block party because he matched the description they were looking for – Black male, his height, wearing a black hoodie with white writing. Joniel was in disbelief that he was in this scenario, it was this moment that changed his life completely.

“I was like, ‘Well I live in a black neighborhood, you can ring anyone’s doorbell or go down the street and you’ll find someone in the same thing,'” Joniel said as he remembered what he felt in that exact moment.

The trauma from being racially profiled switched something inside Joniel’s brain. He got motivated to look more into one of his interests – fashion. Before this, he tried to achieve the Bay Area hypebeast streetwear look. Joniel made a conscious effort to dress differently, drop the hypebeast look, and invest in a completely new wardrobe. His motivation was to differentiate his style from others so he no longer “fit the description” from the traumatic experience.

Joniel started doing his fashion research. He was really inspired by GQ and took notes on their style. Growing up, he always looked up to Will Smith for his fashion and acting. David Gandy inspired him because Joniel feels like he changed the game of male models – from the slender, more feminine looking men, to beefy bulky guys. He was also inspired by Joshua Kissi – just a guy from South Africa who didn’t grow up with a whole lot. Joniel admires how he made his statement in the fashion industry by not giving a shit what people think.

Getting into fashion is a whole other ballgame for creatives. Simply for the fact that this is a form of art where you have to dish out a lot of your money to achieve certain looks that you want. Joniel wanted to stray away from streetwear looks and shifted his style to looking dapper. He wanted to be that one guy in the room dressed up in a suite, pulling it off, but yet maintaining a chill persona and not trying too hard. Joniel had to put in a lot of his own money to stay creative. There was a point where he realized that changing his whole wardrobe was getting too pricey, so for a while, he attempted to make his own clothes. At the end of the day, the price of his clothes didn’t worry him too much because it was an investment worth doing because the garments would always be his to keep. And most importantly, the clothes made Joniel feel good about himself.

Growing up, Joniel wasn’t the most confident kid. He had his fair share of feeling insecure, self-conscious, and overanalyzed things about himself. So finding the new found confidence through fashion made him glow in a different way. He loved that he was investing in himself to make him look good, but feel even better. Joniel’s uncle really liked the way he dressed when he changed up his style and asked him if he was finally modeling yet. “No, but I should,” Joniel responded. It was always something that crossed his mind, but at that moment he decided to actively try to pursue it.

Joniel took the researching stage pretty seriously. His goal was to get signed by an agency, and he was going to make sure it happened. He spent a good chunk of time looking at reviews and talking with people about certain agencies. Joniel took matters into his own hands and reached out to other models under different agencies and asked them how much work they actually got and what their experiences were like with the company. All it took was Joniel taking the initiative to slide into their DM’s to get the relevant information he needed. His research narrowed down his options, and at the end of it, he knew which company he wanted to work for.

When Joniel finally decided which agency was a right fit for him, he stalked them on social media. At the time, he didn’t have a portfolio and no one was helping him out to get discovered, so he used social media to his advantage. He kept up with their whereabouts often and waited for the agency to be at a certain place at a certain time. They would post when and where they would be scouting, so Joniel was always alert on when they would be coming close to his area. Finally, the day came where the agency posted that they would be scouting at the mall. The only problem was that the workers wouldn’t be at a table, but walking around the mall. Joniel made sure to wear his best clothes and went to the mall, in hopes of running into them.

Joniel’s tactics worked, because a photographer started following him around. He knew exactly what was happening, but decided to play it cool. Joniel asked them why they were following him, to which they said, “I work for this agency, are you interested in modeling?” From there, he got to meet the owner. It was really important that Joniel worked under an agency where the owner was a person of color, this is information he already knew prior to meeting them. When they finally met in the mall, he felt as though he was meeting with an uncle, whereas other agencies went straight to business. The owner had Joniel walk down the mall and back, and he left with the owner’s contact information.

It took 2 and a half months for the agency to contact him back. But after that, Joniel was signed to hist first modeling agency. Joniel has always believed that closed mouths don’t get fed, so he really took matters into his own hands to make his modeling career a reality. He played it smart by utilizing social media to his advantage. He laughs and jokes that in a way, he manipulated them into signing him. Joniel signed with an agency in 2013, fresh out of high school. It’s crazy to think that that was almost a decade ago.

Being a model and being able to represent people that normally wouldn’t make it on your screen is something that is very important to Joniel. He wants to help other people feel confident about themselves because he knows that he wasn’t the most confident kid growing up. Joniel explains that being Black, Filipino, from Bay View, and has Vitiligo on his face are all the reasons why he wouldn’t be a potential candidate to be a model. According to him, “the odds weren’t in my favor,” but he still made it happen. Now, he takes pride in representing the people that look like him, come from the same upbringing, and can relate to him in any way.

Social media has never been Joniel’s strong suit, in fact, it is still a work in progress for him. Before getting into the modeling world, he had about 500 followers. When he finally got signed, he would try his best to post consistently to get engagement. That would mean posting 3 times a day. It was a lot to keep up with, but in a year and half he grew his following from 500 followers to 10k. It took him 2 and a half more years to get to 19.6k. Joniel and some other friends from the agency started a social media group where they would text when they posted something so everyone could comment, like, and engage with it.

All in all, it took Joniel about 3 years to see progress in his modeling career. In the beginning, it was hard for his old school parents to get on board with his modeling. They constantly told him that he needed to get a real job. His dad was a little more understanding, due to the fact that his dad also modeled back in the day, but he also wanted Joniel to have something more serious with a steady income. After his first year of modeling, he mad about 12k for the whole year. This gave his parents more grounds to prove their point – he needed a new job and needed to start taking school more seriously. Joniel changed his parents’ minds 2.5 years into modeling when he took them to their first runway show.

“That’s my anak (child/son)!” His mom cheered happily.

“That’s so cool!” His dad later confessed.

Now, whenever he’s on TV or does a shoot with a well-known brand, it’ll definitely end up on mom’s Facebook page or the family group chat. They have learned to support Joniel and be more open-minded with where modeling can take him. It’s a very surreal moment when you see your child walking down that runway or on that ad. They finally understood his passion.

Modeling has challenged Joniel’s creativity in many ways. Fashion helped him find himself. Focusing on his sense of style and what made an outfit “him” really helped him discover the true him. He feels as though all of his modeling experiences has made him more open-minded. He dresses how he feels and does it for himself, not for anyone else. The different kinds of shoots he participates in allows him to just have fun as well. He enjoyed working with Nike because he didn’t even feel like it was work. Joniel described it as if a camera was just there and he was just having fun playing games on the field with other models.

When Joniel graduated from college, he was modeling full-time. He humbly admits that he was really busy and making a lot of money. But when his 26th birthday loomed around the corner, he started to reconsider his career path. Once someone hits 26 years old, they are no longer eligible to be under their parents’ health insurance. This encouraged Joniel to dip his feet into the personal training gym world. When COVID hit, he stopped modeling and training all together. When things started back up again, Joniel picked up from where he left of training and modeling. Now, he doesn’t have plans to model full-time anymore and prefers to do it on the side for fun. He loves that modeling allows his to express himself and do his thing. He loves it a lot, but he’s making realistic steps for his future, and future kids and family.

“It can either be really great or really shitty,” Joniel said when explaining being a full-time model. “And I got to make sure everything’s really great all the time.”

Joniel’s advice to other creatives and models is to keep your head strong and take everything with a grain of salt. Not everyone in the industry is going to be nice to you, so just stay true to yourself. From experience, Joniel has dealt with snobby models and models that throw shade because the industry is a competition. In those cases, he advises to keep your distance. But for the most part, if you’re on the same set, there is mutual respect and understanding that you were all hired to do the same thing, so there is no jealousy or reason to be stand-offish. Joniel thinks it’s important to remain humble.

Joniel thanks his upbringing for his humble demeanor. Growing up without a silver spoon in the Bay Area has shaped him into the man he is today, and it’s important for him to represent the Bay Area every chance he gets. It means a lot to him to maintain the Bay’s original culture, but to also represent the different groups he falls under. He wants people to know that he’s a very caring, protective, and passionate individual.

“I very much care about how people feel, making sure that I can help them avoid some of the feelings that I have felt,” Joniel said. “It’s important to help represent different groups so they can have their own journeys in a safer environment.”

The Smiling Photograph

My dad’s mom, Conching, passed away during childbirth over 55 years ago. At the time, my dad was about 5 years old. Tatay was left to care for 7 children, ages ranging from about 14 to 2. Like their ages, what each sibling remembers of Nanay Conching ranges as well. Some remember the day she passed away vividly, some remember bits and pieces of isolated moments, and some remember nothing at all. Because my dad and aunt were the 2 youngest siblings, they heavily relied on the memories of their older siblings to get an idea of what kind of person their mom was.

From what I have gathered throughout the years, my grandma was a very kind and religious woman. She was the eldest of her siblings, and had a very nurturing personality. Every new piece of information lit up my family’s faces. Each story, memory, and photograph was like striking gold. My cousins and I wanted to know more about the woman that left such an impact on everyone that knew her. We have all wondered what our family would be like had Nanay Conching and my Auntie Merlinda survived. We’d probably have more aunts and uncles, more cousins, and a way bigger family – which is hard to believe, given that our family is already pretty large.

Since Nanay Conching passed away so long ago, and at such a young age, there are only a handful of photos of her that we’ve seen. I personally have only seen a total of 4 photos of Nanay Conching: a solo photo of her in a traditional Filipino dress, the picture of her and Tatay on their wedding day, a photo of my great grandparents (her parents) and all of her siblings holding a painting of her after she passed, and her and my aunt’s tomb stones in the Philippines. These are the only photos that the family has to remember her by. I’m sure that there might be more photos in the Philippines in the albums of very distant family members, but these are the few gems the family’s aware of.

My family is known to have a big family “story time.” We all gather in the living room – you know it’s about to be story time just from the vibe. They turn off the TV, everyone grabs a seat nearby, and it becomes a family group discussion. This usually happens when family from out of state visits the Bay Area – it would routinely happen during Tatay’s birthdays. I don’t know when these family story times started becoming a thing, but they seem to be happening more often as us “kids” start to get older. We feel more comfortable to ask the adults more thought-provoking questions on how they were raised, what they remember, and what life was like immigrating to a new country right after their mother passed away.

Each story told, each point of view shared, each memory ingrained in my aunts, uncles, and dad’s pasts, helps us understand their upbringing and how it has personally effected them as parents, partners, and individuals. Because we know our loved ones’ pasts, it brings to light all the unspoken emotions that their generation couldn’t find the words to express properly. Understanding our family’s generational trauma has planted the seed of change in my cousins and I’s heads. For me, love is many things, one thing that love is is wanting to try to understand. Trying to understand means that you not only want to listen, but that you want them to feel heard. Attempting to understand other people’s pasts and lives brings healing for them, and can connect the pieces in your own mind about why they are the way they are.

I’ve heard many sides and point of views of the day my grandma passed away. Some details vary from sibling to sibling, as time sometimes clouds the memory. One thing that everyone could agree on – regardless of what they remembered and how old they were – was the fact that my grandma’s death put Tatay in a frenzy. He was left widowed with 7 children to care for. Tragedy brought my family closer together and made the stitching of their bond to each other that much tighter. Because they lost a parent so early on in their lives, they cherished Tatay that much more, regardless of how flawed and irritable he was.

Now that Tatay has passed on, a lot of change has happened in our family in the last year. A lot of family are moving out of the Bay Area – something that I never thought would happen in my lifetime. For some reason, I’ve always believed that my extended family on both sides would stay in the Bay Area for life. Looking back now, I know that’s pretty unreasonable, but when I think of “home” I think of the Bay Area. As family starts to branch out outside of California, I think it’s important to try to maintain the closeness and bond that we are all so used to.

A few months ago, we took a trip to visit family that recently moved out of state. It was an amazing experience to explore a state we’d probably never think to visit otherwise. It was hands down one of the best family trips I have ever been on. When entering a home I’ve never been to before, I love to look at all the pictures that are up in the house. I feel like the pictures that are up in someone’s house says a lot about them and what’s important to them. I made my way around my uncle’s living room, dining room, bedroom, and anywhere with pictures up.

I analyzed all of the photos in my uncle’s home, each tucked away in a frame, some big, some small. As I admired the collage frame hanging next to the front door, I noticed some faces that looked very familiar at the top right. It was a photo of Tatay and Nanay Conching on their wedding day. But this wasn’t the wedding photo we were all familiar with, this was one I’ve never seen before. There in front of me was a picture of both my grandparents smiling ear to ear. It dawned on me that this was the first time I’ve ever seen a photo of my grandma smiling.

I immediately took pictures of the photo and sent it my dad and aunt who couldn’t make the trip. They also shared that they have never seen the photo before either. My aunt texted me, thanking me for sending it her way. Being the youngest sibling, my aunt was only 2 years old when her mom passed away. Her and my dad have no memories of their own of their mother. All that they have gathered about their mom has been stories passed down from their older siblings. She shared that this was the first picture she ever saw of her mom smiling, and it brought tears to her eyes. There is nothing that can fill the void of losing a parent so young, but a picture of both of her parents smiling was the next best thing for my aunt. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but this picture left us speechless.

It was a nice surprise to discover that photo that day. Especially with so much change happening, it’s nice to get those signs from the other side that they’re still around. Or at the very least, a reminder of the people that started it all. Sometimes discovering a photo that you never knew existed could really move you in ways that are unexplainable. For me, the smiling photograph filled my heart in many ways.

The Photograph

**Nancy, I know you said to focus on people that I don’t know, but I promise I will do that AFTER this post… this is a story I HAVE to tell.**

My dad’s mom died over 50 years ago in the Philippines while giving birth to her 8th child. Unfortunately my grandma and aunt both passed away. My grandpa was left with 7 kids, 2 of which were under the age of 7.

Decades passed and my grandpa was alone. He is now 92 years old, going on 93 this July. A little over 10 years ago he remarried. For so long he was alone and single, longing for companionship.

My family, aunts & uncles, & their kids that are free, go to my grandpa and step-grandma’s house every other Sunday. It’s a great way for the family to remain close and for my grandpa to see his kids, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.

One Sunday my aunt brought old pictures. She showed me and my cousins our grandmother, who none of us ever got to meet. My aunt was saying how she thinks she looks so much like her mother and how her other 2 sisters also share some features. There are only a couple of photos I’ve seen of my grandma, so my first thought was to take a picture of the photo.

My grandpa wasn’t really paying attention, he’s 92, so he’s always just chillin’ minding his business. My sisters and I like to show our grandpa pictures on our phone of him from previous events or ones we take right in front of him. He thinks it’s so cool how technology has advanced and still can’t believe that we can take pictures of him on our phones. Every time we show him his picture he starts laughing surprised like “that’s me!”

Anyways, I took out my phone and pulled up the picture of my grandma. I showed it to him and his reaction made me happy and sad all at the same time. Seeing her picture made him eagerly grab my phone out of my hand.

Staring at her picture he said to me in Tagalog, “Where’d you get this? Do you know who this is? It’s grandma.”

Other than when he complains about his back hurting, my grandpa is usually just chill and observant at get togethers. So when he reacted so surprised to see the picture, it touched my heart, because I could only imagine all the memories that photo brought back.

I think that’s a whole other level of love. To lose someone so tragically, and to be alone for so long, to get remarried, but to be so excited to see an old photo made me really happy. I can only imagine what he felt when he saw that picture, but I know that’s exactly how I would want someone to look at an old photograph of me. 20141109_190624

The photo above is the exact photo I showed my grandpa.