Tag: poem

2023

Marinelle CabilloLeave a comment

Dear 2023,

Hands down, you were the best year yet.

I would’ve never thought this year would play out the way it did, but damn am I grateful for it all.

You were full of surprises.

You proved to me that the answers to most of my problems could be found within.

You opened my eyes to see that happiness is a choice, and it’s all about perspective.

You told me to trust my intuition, and damn did it restore my trust in divine timing.

You reminded me that the opinion I have of myself is all that matters.

You encouraged me to take advantage of everything life has to offer, for I’m only this young once.

You forced me to stop watering what is dead.

You gave me a glimpse of what I can be if I continue to work on myself.

But most importantly, you brought me back to me.

2023, you will forever be the year I decided to choose myself.

Tatay’s Tree

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We put up your Christmas tree as a family this year.

A tradition I’m forcing on everyone for the sake of your memory and red velvet cake.

How odd it was to see your tree somewhere other than your house.

This tree has witnessed many of our Sunday dinners and celebrations throughout the years.

We used all of your original ornaments which are still intact.

When I looked closer, I couldn’t help but laugh.

There are so many things on that tree where you’ve left your mark.

Why are the glass ornaments being held up by bread twist ties?

And why did you have so many bread twist ties readily available?

I thought the star that lives on top of the tree was broken, the foam on the top and bottom were split through by plastic leaves.

Only to think it through and know you definitely did it on purpose to make it look like a shooting star.

You were so particular with everything, I know there are no accidents made on that tree.

For the first time since you’ve left, it’s actually starting to feel a lot like Christmas…

Blank Pages

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There’s something so satisfying about new stationery.

The blank crisp pages are just waiting to be written on.

And we are the writers – in complete control of our own destiny.

If only you knew the journey it took to actually live by that.

I pick up my pen, excited to have the free will to write my own story.

For the first time ever, the lack of a step-by-step plan doesn’t scare me.

How liberating it is to know that life can be whatever I want it to be.

The new plan is to not force a plan.

It is written only because I decided to write it.

Write It Out

Marinelle CabilloLeave a comment

Trigger fingers in full effect.

Going 100 words per second.

Not sugarcoating shit.

Not to be posted.

Not to be shared.

Not for your eyes.

I write because I want answers.

Answers from myself.

I’ve found that they don’t always reveal

themselves straight out the gate.

When I read through my unfiltered writing and thoughts,

I take a journey through my own mind.

I see how my mind works.

What I’m hung up on.

Why I still feel the need to write about it.

What needs my attention.

My advice is this:

When in doubt, write it out.

I hope you find the answers you’re looking for.

Answered

Marinelle CabilloLeave a comment

Note to self –

You are living what you once prayed for

at this exact moment in your life.

You can get so caught up on the next thing

that you forget you’re currently living a prayer.

Stand still for a moment and take it in.

That peace you used to beg the universe for?

The desire to better your life?

The inner happiness you hoped for?

The natural gratitude for all you have?

The “hopefully one day” wish your heart dreamed of?

That day is here. It’s right now.

How beautiful it is to live an answered prayer.

Ride The Waves

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I used to try to swim against the current.

In my mind, I had to at least attempt to swim past… right?

I take pride in the fact that I never give up.

That makes me strong. Resilient. A fighter.

But trying and giving my all was leading me to drown.

With each stroke, I found myself under water.

I would try to catch my breath as I mustered the courage to try yet again.

Frustration and disappointment would be an understatement.

I couldn’t comprehend why I was in the same exact position

no matter how hard I tried to swim through and weather the storm.

Each failed attempt was disheartening, but I still tried repeatedly.

My logic was this: With so much time spent,

what a shame it would be to have my efforts be for nothing.

So I continued to swim against the currents,

still baffled every single time I found myself drowning.

It took a while for me to learn from my mistakes.

Until one day, I decided to do something different – the unthinkable.

I was exhausted, hanging by a thread spiritually, and at my breaking point –

I decided to give up the fight and see where the waves take me.

My guard was still up, ready to start aggressively swimming

the moment I felt things were going south.

But I decided to trust the waves…

Maybe they were trying to tell me something this whole time.

I took a deep breath, and let the current take me wherever I had to go.

I didn’t resist or panic, but I was afraid.

Still, I decided to trust the process and surrender to what was.

The waves continued to crash down on me.

I feared that I made a huge mistake, but I resisted the urge to swim.

I started to ride the waves instead of trying to go against them.

I took each wave slowly, one by one, until I was in calmer waters.

After a while, I saw that I was being led to a beautiful place.

I found myself in the eye of the storm.

Now I understand what it means to weather a storm within myself.

Like the waves, everything comes and goes as it should.

Ride the waves instead of resisting them.

You’ll be surprised to see that you are floating.

My Garden

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A beautiful garden takes time and dedication.

You just don’t hope for a garden to appear –

you strategically plan for what it will be.

For you are not only prepping for the flowers themselves,

but the entire environment for where they will grow.

You can’t expect a full garden to thrive

when you haven’t even considered the necessities:

space, water, light, nutrients, and temperature.

When the basic needs are nurtured and cared for,

only then can you go above and beyond the ordinary.

My garden started off empty, but what

kept me consistent was the idea of what it could be.

I knew if I kept caring for my garden,

eventually the fruits of my labor would appear.

I hand-picked the seeds I wanted to grow.

I focused in on what I needed to improve.

I started to water myself, nurturing my soul.

Now, my garden is starting to bloom in full effect.

The seeds that I have planted many seasons ago

are finally starting to blossom.

I never thought my garden would be possible…

But here I am, surrounded by so many flowers.

My garden is full and forever blossoming.

Turning The Page

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I can feel a shift in the air.

My heart and mind are open.

I feel like a new chapter is ahead of me.

I can’t quite put my finger on it,

but I know good change is on the horizon.

It’s been a while, but I love that gut feeling –

my intuition knows blessings are approaching.

And damn do I deserve all the good things coming my way.

I wake up every day excited for the unknown and what’s to come.

May the chapters get better and better as my story continues.

Finally, a page has been turned.

What’s For You

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I’m a true believer in divine timing.

As cliché as it sounds:

What’s for me will never pass me.

And if it passes me, it wasn’t meant to be.

What’s mine will never have to be forced.

So, what a waste of time it would be to wallow in

anger over things that were never for me to begin with.

What is meant for me, will always be mine.

Even if I miss it at a wrong turn,

fate will bring it back time and time again.

Let situations come and pass as they do.

It’s easy to get hung up on the why and try to force fate.

But everything happens for a reason.

Don’t question the divine timing.

What enters your life is meant to enter.

And what exits your life is meant to exit.

What is meant for you will always be yours.

100 In Another Life

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In another life, you live to be 100.

We still meet at your house every other Sunday.

In another life, the pandemic never happened.

All of the family stayed in the Bay Area.

In another life, we’re watching animals with you on TV.

Your laugh and utter entertainment is still so vivid in my head.

In another life, you live to see me get married.

I look for you in the crowd, grateful you’re there to witness it all.

In another life, my kids are excited to go to “Tatay’s House.”

I watch them play with their great-grandfather who is over 100 years old.

In another life, you don’t need your walker or cane.

You’re walking around freely and being independent – just how you wanted.

In another life, we’re all together and celebrating your 100th birthday today.

But this is not another life, and instead, I put flowers on your grave.

Today, we celebrate what would have been 100.

Oh, how sweet it would’ve been to celebrate a century of Jacinto Cabillo on Earth!

But right now, I’m confident you’re somewhere in your new life.

You’re celebrating with the ones you couldn’t have celebrated with here.

Oh, how sweet that must be for them to celebrate 2 birthdays and counting with you now!

We were lucky enough to have you as long as we did in this life.

Happy 100th birthday to the man that we’ll see in the next life.

We love you, Tatay.