Note To Self: Remain You

For when you feel wronged:

As hard as it can be – don’t ever let someone have the power to take you out of your character. You know you’re better than that. Matching someone’s energy in spite will only hinder your own light. Don’t stoop down to levels where you know you don’t belong. There’s no need for revenge, to get even, or to prove a point, because you know eventually people will have to reap what they sow… So wish them well.

You wish well on others because you know eventually everyone will get back what they put in. The universe has a funny way of teaching lessons. So let karma deal with it. There’s no point in wasting your energy on people and situations that drain you. You have nothing to prove. Don’t you ever underestimate your power to wish well on those who never deserved your grace.

I refuse to let you reciprocate the same hate, bitterness, or jealousy that some have projected onto you. There is no room in your heart for that. It’s okay to feel angry, upset, and wronged, but don’t let the actions of others turn you into the villain in your own story. You’re stronger than that. Feel it, then let it go.

Note to self – your heart has no room to wish anyone ill will.

The Hermit

Detached trying to find the meaning of life is when I reconnected with myself.

A reunion that could only take place in complete solitude.

To know what your heart truly desires, you must first know who you are as an individual.

So, I chose to fall in love with the silence.

I chose to look within rather than out.

I chose to be selective with my time.

I gave myself the freedom to reevaluate and question everything.

The greatest revelation: being alone does not mean lonely.

I found that the company of myself is the most peaceful solace I know.

Answered

Note to self –

You are living what you once prayed for

at this exact moment in your life.

You can get so caught up on the next thing

that you forget you’re currently living a prayer.

Stand still for a moment and take it in.

That peace you used to beg the universe for?

The desire to better your life?

The inner happiness you hoped for?

The natural gratitude for all you have?

The “hopefully one day” wish your heart dreamed of?

That day is here. It’s right now.

How beautiful it is to live an answered prayer.

Oh, To Fall Apart!

Ironically, we try everything in our power to not fall apart.

We avoid the urge to crumble, and dread having to restart.

But what a liberating feeling it is to just be!

To just take life as it is and be emotionally free.

Free to fall apart if that’s what healing calls for.

Maybe it’s what the heart needs, have you ever thought of it like that before?

So much resistance to falling apart, we’re taught to just be strong.

You can keep the act up for some time, but honestly, not for long.

At one point the emotional burden will get too much to conceal,

then you’ll have no choice but to really show how you feel.

Ohhh, to fall apart and not feel shame!

I refuse to live my life playing emotional mind games.

The real shame is we live in a society that flaunts blocking what we feel –

They will crucify you if you ever show emotions that are real.

It’s actually better to let yourself fall apart when it is due.

Don’t hold back, feel what you feel, you’ll always find a way to get through.

Oh, how I’ve learned to fall apart peacefully and not resist…

The liberty to feel what I feel and just simply exist!

Peace

Peace.

The cards say I’m seeking peace.

I was told that that’s the theme of my year.

Ironically, sometimes to reach peace,

you need to disturb it first.

Question the ordinary.

Ask the questions you sometimes don’t want answered.

Dive into parts of yourself that you’d rather avoid.

Ditch old ways that bring comfort, but also unsatisfied feelings.

Force yourself to follow through and stop disappointing yourself –

because you’re old enough to realize what you’re doing now.

Identify the healthy and unhealthy patterns.

It sounds like anything but peaceful.

It’s actually a lot of hard work.

Finding peace is meddling with the very things that you’re conflicted with.

It’s facing the things that wreck your peace head on.

Are you ready to face the truth?

Only then will you find peace.

There is a difference between true peace and just accepting your reality.

I want real peace.

Therefore, I have to wreck my peace first.

But it’s in my cards.

It’s what I want.

It’s what I will get.

It’s Okay to Change Your Mind

We live in the age of information. With the plethora of information and sources out there, it’s almost inexcusable to not look into things deeper. Especially with the current political climate and election day roaming around the corner, people are becoming more aware of the importance of voting. Where does our tax dollars go? What are we funding? How can we make change? How can I do my part in this all?

But we all know how life goes, people get busy, we get caught up in work, and sometimes we don’t make the time to dig deeper and do research. We get to pick and choose who we follow and what kind of content we get to see. That’s a blessing and a curse all at once. We get to filter and sift through all the things we don’t want to see. On my Instagram feed I’ll never find someone or a company trying to profit off of my insecurities, I’ll never see Trump-supporting content, I’ll never read racist commentary, I’ll never see anti-gay, anti-fat, anti-feminist content, I’ll never see any of that. Because I’ve tailored my Instagram to show me things I believe in, and filtered out the things I don’t want to see.

But what if someone is on the wrong side of thinking? It used to be “agree to disagree” and “everyone has a different opinion,” but now with everything going on, I really feel like there’s no going back to those ignorant days. And I don’t want to be a “my opinion is the right opinion” kind of bitch, but when it comes down to what is taking place right now, with Trump in office and all the havoc and pain he’s caused this nation in just under 4 years, it does boil down to “right and wrong” opinions.

We all knew from the get what kind of guy Trump was before he was elected into office. But after all this, after almost 4 years of presidency, whoever is still “Trump 2020”-ing, all I have to say is what the fuck?! Like genuine confusion. But I have to realize that there really are people out there that think like him, hate like him, and want him for president again. And sometimes I stop and wonder if they’re actually all for him, or if they’re too embarrassed to say he is wrong. And in turn, that they were wrong in wanting him as president. That, or they’re too set in their ways of thinking to ever see past their own views.

When new information is presented on a topic, situation, person, and it proves your previous beliefs to be wrong, it is okay to change your mind! There’s nothing wrong about changing your mind. There’s nothing wrong with getting more information and facts. There’s nothing wrong about being proven wrong. It’s time we normalize changing our minds and learning more information. But most importantly, taking accountability and admitting that your actions and beliefs may have been damaging and hurtful to others.

If you refuse to open your mind to new information, you’re not learning or growing. You’re depriving yourself from making a decision for yourself. And ultimately, you just follow whatever you’re accustomed to. And that’s dangerous when it comes to passing down beliefs from generation to generation. That’s why we still have racists, homophobics, and cult religious people who don’t practice what they preach.

It’s honestly terrifying to see all these people that hide behind religion be the biggest Trump supporters. It makes no sense to me. These are the same kind of people that condemn George Floyd and his past. The same kid of people that say the media is turning Floyd into a “martyr” and we all shouldn’t mourn his death because of his track record. The same kind of people that are justifying an unjust murder. The same kind of people that will back up murderers to the grave before they admit that a black man was wrongfully killed. The same kind of people that care more about animal rights than human rights. The same kind of people that talk down on peaceful protesters and say they are “thugs” and disturbing the peace but they can’t even wear a mask at a grocery store. It’s people that think like this that will pass down their beliefs to their children.

And unfortunately, sometimes these people never see why their views and microagressions are harmful. They have that privilege to not have to do the research because the results don’t affect them directly. And that’s wrong. You can’t force people to care about the well-being of someone other than themselves. You can’t force someone to want to change their view. You can just hope that some realize their privilege and try to educate themselves.

Admitting that you didn’t have all the information and your views may have been one sided, is the ultimate redemption. Just acknowledging how your actions and beliefs were hurtful and making an active change to educate yourself, people like you, and those around you will make change.

Where people fall short in this is when they realize they are “wrong” but have too much pride to admit it. Some even go the extra mile and obnoxiously rep their wrong views even harder because they have the mentality of “well, no going back now.” Everyone just wants to be right, but it’s okay to say you were wrong, that you didn’t have all the information, that you educated yourself and came to a different conclusion.

It makes me think of all the statues that are being taken down by protesters. As they should be, since they are statues of racists. But all these people that are tripping out about these statues being taken down….. I genuinely sit here thinking “why?!” Like why are you so pressed? The removal of a statue of a person who owned slaves is bothering you because? ….. Because your history books told you otherwise? Because we’ve been taught a sugar-coated version of American history? Because you’re realizing that a great majority of those who have things and places named after them weren’t that great? Because you’re too set in your narrow-minded thinking that you can’t fathom the true facts to be real? Or because you refuse to look at the facts?

Normalize changing your opinion when presented with new facts and information. It doesn’t make you look bad or uneducated. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. Nobody comes out of the womb knowing everything and anything. We need to take accountability and educate ourselves. Be open to look and critique information on your own. Not just being force fed beliefs that you are accustomed to.