Tag: poems

Baby Bird

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I’m the baby bird that has always been hesitant to leave the nest.

The nest being my comfort zone.

In every situation I’ve ever faced,

I’ve stayed in my nest until I was a thousand percent sure.

Even with all the training and mental preparation,

there were times I still chose to play it safe.

I’m the baby bird that needs that security.

I’m not going to jump out of the nest hoping to fly.

I’m going to make sure that I can before I make the leap.

But in doing so…

I’m the baby bird that over stays her welcome.

I’m the baby bird that makes things more difficult for herself.

This baby bird is so over being afraid to leave the comfort of her own nest.

This not-so-baby-bird feels like a newly hatched chick,

cracking its way out of the egg and ready for whatever life has to offer.

Now this baby bird has a new mindset.

It’s a new beginning.

This baby bird has no choice but to fly –

And surprisingly, she’s eager to.

She needed things to be on her time,

and now she’s ready to explore beyond her nest.

Wish this baby bird luck, she finally decided it’s time –

Out of her comfort zone she goes, into the unknown.

I Want My Cake

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I know I can’t be the only one who wishes –

that I could have my cake and eat it too.

I want it all my way, I’m well aware.

But I don’t give myself enough time to get there.

Is there miraculously some middle ground?

Sometimes it’s not that easy, is what I’ve found.

That’s the problem with me, I’m stubborn to the core.

I’m always thinking of how I can do more.

I want to skip to the happy part faster,

but in doing so, it can be a disaster.

I want my cake and to eat it too!

I could scream that shit all day.

And in the end it’ll all work out and hopefully go my way.

I always find a way to have my cake and eat it too, I’m very precise.

But for now, if I can’t have the whole cake, can I just have a little slice?

Evolve Or Repeat

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They say those who don’t know their history are condemned to repeat it.

That is true for things outside of world history, we hate to admit it.

I saw an Instagram post that read, “Evolve or repeat.”

Not gonna lie, that hit home, and those 3 words cut deep.

Because that shit is true, I’ve experienced it first hand,

you have to learn the lesson before you can expand.

Some people are doomed to repeat the same fate

until they set their own record straight.

Evolve or repeat…

You can’t move on until it’s complete.

It’s one or the other, either do it again or make a change.

At times it can really feel like an unfair exchange.

How do you expect different results when things are being done the same?

And then to have it be an endless cycle is truly a fuckin’ shame.

Now, I know that change is definitely easier said than done.

I’ve had my fair share of scenarios where I had to look in the mirror and see what I’ve become.

So I’m not acting all high and mighty and trying to throw shade,

because I know first hand how this game is played.

You keep repeating because you have that glimmer of hope,

and then you continue and then you realize…. nope.

At what point does the cycle need to break?

Yes, don’t give up easily, but at what point is your sanity at stake?

Fuck this shit, get me out of this cycle, get me off this ride.

You’re becoming aware, and now you can say you’ve tried.

That’s the first step in what can feel like a never ending cycle –

see the pattern, and stop being so in denial.

You’ve been here before, you don’t want to repeat and dance this dance again.

In that case, you’ll be open to try something different then.

I want to evolve and learn the lesson I need to know,

for I know it is necessary for me if I really want to grow.

Peace

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Peace.

The cards say I’m seeking peace.

I was told that that’s the theme of my year.

Ironically, sometimes to reach peace,

you need to disturb it first.

Question the ordinary.

Ask the questions you sometimes don’t want answered.

Dive into parts of yourself that you’d rather avoid.

Ditch old ways that bring comfort, but also unsatisfied feelings.

Force yourself to follow through and stop disappointing yourself –

because you’re old enough to realize what you’re doing now.

Identify the healthy and unhealthy patterns.

It sounds like anything but peaceful.

It’s actually a lot of hard work.

Finding peace is meddling with the very things that you’re conflicted with.

It’s facing the things that wreck your peace head on.

Are you ready to face the truth?

Only then will you find peace.

There is a difference between true peace and just accepting your reality.

I want real peace.

Therefore, I have to wreck my peace first.

But it’s in my cards.

It’s what I want.

It’s what I will get.

Public Service Announcement

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This is a public service announcement to my fucking self,

that sometimes I need to write shit out just so I can hear myself.

Yup, I don’t write just for the consistent writing clout,

but more so to arrange my thoughts and mentally sort things out.

100 percent of the time these posts are dedicated to me,

they act as reminders because I know how hard headed I can be.

I often need reminders to practice what I preach,

because I give great advice, but for myself it can seem out of reach.

I post these posts and make them public for anyone’s eyes,

because deep down I want someone to relate and maybe realize…

Bitch, you’re not alone. You are valid in what you feel.

This game of life gets messy, and I only write about what’s real.

Most of the time that means my life, and I get cautious not to over-share,

people don’t need to know my every move, and that I am completely aware.

That was what had me weary – the fact that anyone could peep.

I didn’t want to give people the scoop on my life and encourage them to creep.

Sometimes I still get in those moods of shutting this shit down,

but without this outlet I know that I would mentally drown.

This is a public service announcement to my fucking self,

to stop bottling up my feelings and putting them on the shelf.

Bitch, that M.O. gets you nowhere, you should know this by now,

and remember you will only post what you are willing to allow.

This shit is dedicated to me,

and it always will be.

But if you resonate, then this is dedicated to US –

I’ll give you the words to your emotions that you feel you can’t discuss.

Crystal Ball

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Crystal ball, crystal ball…

Let me know when I’ll have it all.

Oh, how I wish I could tell

the future and more with just a spell.

Show me what my fate will be,

and reveal what’s in store for lil ol’ me.

I’m stuck and I need a sign,

let me know how everything will be just fine.

I don’t know which direction to go,

and I wish I had a crystal ball to show.

Show me everything I need to know.

Tell me everything will all be worth it,

and make me confident to work towards more shit.

I need some inspiration or motivation perhaps,

to take off the weight of these anxiety-filled shackles and straps.

All I know is I want more,

and wish I knew what was in store.

But what’s the fun in that, I guess,

if life were predictable with no mess.

Oh, crystal ball, I guess you’re not needed after all,

I need to figure out for myself when I hit those walls.

But let’s be real, wouldn’t it be nice?

To be able to see what each result caused at what price?

I guess I don’t need to know what, where, and when –

I’ll deal with it all when I get to it then.

Land of The Free (?)

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Land of the free right? Yeah, that’s not what it seems.

Is this what they meant when they said American dreams?

Now, before anyone twists my words, let me make this clear:

I respect and appreciate the brave men and women who have ever served this nation.

But this poem is dedicated to those women who want, need, and can’t get that operation.

What about any of this is okay –

to not give a woman the right to choose at the end of the day?

Women all over the country lost that right.

The right to control your own body was gone over night.

First women’s rights, who else’s rights are next at bat?

Second class citizens, now what’s more American than that?

How the hell do you force a woman to have a baby she doesn’t want to keep?

Don’t tell me it’s for your own personal beliefs, cuz it’s really not that deep.

What you believe and choose should be completely up to you,

the government shouldn’t have a say in what you choose to do.

This is so sad, America is truly going back in time.

This is a violation of women’s rights, and that’s the real crime.

I can’t wrap my head around it, cuz this is truly an outrage,

that they’ll make you have a baby at any fucking age.

It doesn’t matter which side of the argument you stand,

someone else’s beliefs should never result in a country wide ban.

My heart breaks for women all around the nation,

that are finding themselves in the middle of this fucked up situation.

It doesn’t matter what the reason may be for a woman wanting an abortion,

they have twisted it into something that it’s not and blowing it way out of proportion.

The whole argument of when does life really start –

some say at the time of conception, when they’re actually born, or when there’s a beating heart.

Some also believe there’s a gray area, like in instances of rape, incest, or illness,

but the truth is, it’s none of anyone’s fucking business.

The reason alone shouldn’t dictate if it is right or wrong,

the right to choose should’ve been the precedent all along.

I honestly don’t even know why this topic is up for debate,

but it’s so controversial that they left it up to each individual state.

Wherever you stand, don’t force yourself onto others,

just like how the government shouldn’t force women to be mothers.

So are we really that free?

When the government has control over your body?

So go ahead, light those fireworks, celebrate, wear your red, white, and blue,

but all over America, there are tons of women who don’t know what to do.

While some will celebrate the 4th of July into the next morning,

just know a great deal of Americans are sitting back and mourning.

We are supposed to be America, the “land of the free”…

But that statement is only true to some fuckin’ degree…

Summer Gon’ Get Whatever Body I Give It

Marinelle CabilloLeave a comment

Summer gon’ get whatever body I give it.

That’s a mother fucking note to self I need to internalize.

Please listen up, if you find that this applies…

Body positive, but the inner work is never done,

I say this because I hit an all time low in 2021.

My Tatay died, the pandemic continued, Tita-Lola died too.

My heart was broken, but I still had to find a way to get through.

I have always been a foodie, so much more in 2021 and now,

I had to pick myself back up and didn’t know exactly how.

I was depressed as shit, not really in the mood,

the only thing I found comfort in was eating bomb ass food.

Yeah, I’ll admit it, there is no shame in what I said.

Eating made me happy, it was 1 of the few things I didn’t dread.

On top of losing loved ones, the pandemic bloomed fear and uncertainty.

I feared I couldn’t get out of the funk I was in, and that’s what worried me.

I found joy in food, because it reminded me of better days –

of get togethers, pre-pandemic, family events, and many other ways.

If eating is what I enjoyed, it was okay if I was using it to not be so sad,

for I know I was using it to cope, and this solution wasn’t that bad.

But I was blocking out my emotions, emotionally constipated if you will.

I was using my love of food to hopefully get that void to fill.

Body positive, that’s what I strive to be,

trying to remind myself that my appearance and weight is not what makes me me.

But I’m human, insecurities are nothing new,

not to mention that it’s pretty clear I gained more than a few.

I wish I could say that I’m 100% confident and do not give a shit,

but it’s hard when I look in the mirror and don’t like how things are starting to fit.

Summer is coming, hotter weather approaches, and I shouldn’t get upset,

for this summer is gon’ get whatever body it will get.

In the past, I would talk down on myself and try to make me feel more low,

but now I’m kinder with myself and know that I can learn from this experience to grow.

My life is happening now, I’m not waiting until I’m fully happy with what I see.

I can still appreciate my body in the now, even if it’s not where I want it to be.

Body positive, but being aware that I can do better,

I need to feel comfortable with myself and know when I need to check her.

Be kind with yourself, and you yourself will blossom,

your body is beautiful in every stage, and that’s what makes it awesome.

Currently, my body reflects how I dealt with my sorrow for some time,

I gained some weight in the making and that’s not a fuckin’ crime.

I thank my body for everything that it was, is, and everything that it will be,

for this summer gon’ get whatever body I give it, and it will just be simply me.

IDFK

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They say there is beauty in the unknown,

but we just don’t realize it in the moment.

Sometimes I wish I had crystal ball,

to take a peak into the future I desperately want to see.

Is it everything I hoped it would be?

Are my efforts being made in vain,

or is it all working toward the bigger picture?

I don’t know.

I’m unsure.

I wish I knew.

I know there is beauty in the journey,

but I hate the unknown.

I hate not being in control,

But ironically, I am.

I want to be in complete control,

that is, until I hit a fork in the road.

Then I don’t know what to do.

Because I hate being wrong.

Instead, I choose to detach,

that’s one thing I always end up doing regardless.

There’s beauty in this, in the now.

I just need help to see it.

See the bigger picture, think ahead.

I need a sign to let me know

which direction to fucking go…

Until then, I just don’t fucking know….