Why Can’t I Enjoy the Process?

It started with LEGOs.

Yes, you read that right. Talking about building LEGOs is what led me to this blog post…

Christian has always been a LEGO lover. I joke around that he looks exactly like his mom, and I guess that his love of LEGOs is also something that he inherited from her. He comes from a LEGO loving family. He always got the sick ass sets growing up for birthdays and special occasions, and now that we are living together, he has taken it upon himself to finally cop some new LEGO sets.

I, on the other hand, did not grow up building LEGOs. In fact, I mentioned that my first LEGO set that was actually for me and not hand-me-downs, was a little 10-15 piece set that his mom got me in my Easter basket the first year we started dating. It was a Frozen Olaf set that was simple, but still cool to put together. It was something new to me, since I was more of a Bratz doll lover growing up. Of course, I had the big duplos to build, but I never knew what it was like to have a LEGO set that was supposed to be a specific thing.

LEGO building is a new-ish hobby we have picked up together, especially during the pandemic. I say “new-ish” because he’s been about that LEGO building life. He just revived his love for it by getting new sets, while I am fairly new to the game. Christian bought this medieval set that was over $150. I really couldn’t believe how pricey these sets could be! This specific set, to me atleast, had a lot of pages and pieces. The booklet is the size of a novel, and there’s about 15 pouches. Given that my ass only owned a 10-15 piece Olaf set, I was baffled. And honestly, overwhelmed as fuck.

We decided to divide the pouches up and take turns building. Everytime it was my turn, I felt under pressure to work fast and get all the pieces to fit right. It was like I was having a competition with myself in my head. When he was building his turn of the set, I asked if he felt anxiety or overwhelmed to just finish. I didn’t think that opening this can of worms would lead me down a train of thought that made me question and realize:

Why can’t I enjoy the process?

I asked him if he felt anxious to just get it all over with so he could just be done with the set, given that the book was huge and there were bags filled with little pieces. I explained that when I build my portion of a LEGO set, I feel like I’m constantly trying to turn the page and move onto the next step so I can complete my turn as soon as possible. I described the accomplished feeling of quickly looking at the graphic, getting the right piece, and completing a step. All the pieces fit together, everything in it’s designated spot, I’m getting it right, I’m moving along, I want to see the end result. So much so, that I’m not really taking the time to see my progress.

Go, go, go, next piece, *click*, *turn the page,* next piece, *click*….

It’s oddly satisfying to work fast and get it right. It’s something that you don’t have to think too much about. You just look at the picture, find the right piece, and put that shit on. I told him that I noticed I don’t really admire or even care to notice the progress of the LEGOs right before my eyes. And that’s because I’m so focused on seeing the finished product. It’s like I’m so focused on finishing and seeing the end result that I don’t care about the individual steps I have to take to complete it. All that mattered to me was what I saw at the end.

On top of that, I felt the need to work fast. I get overwhelmed with how many pieces are before me, that my mindset is to power through and get it done. The less pieces I saw before me, the more motivated I felt to keep going. It’s like that feeling when you’re waiting online for something to drop. The time clock is winding down and you’re excited, nervous, and anxious, knowing you have to work fast to get what you want. In the case of LEGO building, I try to work fast, not taking my time to appreciate how each individual piece and direction is all equally important to the final piece.

To my surprise, Christian told me that he didn’t feel that way when it came to LEGO building. He’s perfectly fine with working slow, appreciating how each piece fits with the other, analyzing how he started off with 1-5 LEGOs, and now it’s a whole ass stone building, etc. He saw the art in it, thinking how the designer of the set put it all together. He thought about what he would do differently, what he would add, what features his set would have if he were to design one. He simply didn’t relate with me feeling the need to be fast and work anxiously.

I was shocked because I didn’t even think what I asked was a loaded question until I realized he didn’t feel the same way as me. It made me reflect on why I felt the need to just see the end goal so fast. I realized that my mentality is not just limited to LEGO building, but to how I view life in general. I stayed quiet as Christian meticulously added to his foundation, analyzing the pages of instructions before him.

That was the same mentality I had with school – I just wanted to be done and have my degree already. I dreaded waking up early to go to class, I dreamt of the day where I wouldn’t have to turn in homework. But when I finally completed that goal, I was lost and had no idea what do with myself. When I was little and reading a ton of books from the school library (thank you Mrs. Volpe, those love stories were fire.), I’d get so impatient that I would always skip to the last page of the book. I’d read the last page and ruin it for myself because I just wanted to hurry up and know the ending already. I even find myself having that impatient mentality when it comes to things that I should enjoy / do for leisure. I have found myself in this scenario fairly often.

The “let’s just get this over with,” mentality is motivating yet harmful. It motives me to keep going, knowing that there is a goal to reach and steps to follow. However, I’m completely blindsided to the journey. I’m so focused on the end goal that I don’t appreciate the moments in between. I’m so guilty of having tunnel vision for the end result that I push myself and push myself until I’m at the finish line. And then what? Then I repeat the process with something else, stressing myself out the entire journey. I strive to complete a goal and make it an accomplishment, but never really enjoying how I got from point A to point Z. I have a habit of not appreciating or living fully in the moment. This is something I was fully aware of, but building a LEGO set reminded me of this personality trait of mine.

I guess LEGOs will do that to you sometimes. I went into it trying to build a cool set, and ended up giving myself a mini therapy session. But if I do say so myself, the end product was cool to see. I just wish I didn’t take all the fun out of it by anxiously trying to get it done. This new hobby made me realize that I will miss a lot of art and beauty along the way if I’m too busy trying to rush and get instant gratification.

I’m constantly stuck between “get shit done,” and “it’ll happen when it happens.” I’m the most motivated lazy person that you will ever meet. I struggle with fully being in the moment. My mind is always elsewhere, thinking of what else I need to complete, what is happening the next day, or what is a priority in the next coming months. I put a lot on my plate sometimes, and it can feel like I’m being pulled in a thousand different directions and not 1 thing gets my full undivided attention.

But the truth is, there will always be a new goal, a new idea, something that needs my attention, something that I have to work on – I just need to figure out my balance. I don’t want my goals and plans to consume me. As the cliché goes, I need to stop and smell the roses from time to time. This is another eye opener for me, that I need to be present and not thinking about everything that is to come. I need to celebrate the small victories and be more in the “now.” Forever working on enjoying the ride of life and not letting tunnel vision control me.

The Picture Hoarder

As a kid, I was never into video games like my sisters were. They had their own Nintendo DS, but I never cared for one. I was more into TV shows, talking on the house phone with my friends, drawing fake Myspace’s for my Bratz dolls (yes, you read that right), and taking pictures. Back in the day it was a ritual to bring a disposable camera (holy shit, that makes me feel old. Haha) to school events. It was especially a must to bring a camera to the last day of school. I brought a disposable camera every last day of school since the third grade. The last day of school always gave me mixed emotions. I was happy to be out of school and on summer break, but at the same time I was sad that I wouldn’t be seeing my friends as often, because some even moved away. Also, the next school year didn’t guarantee that my friend group would be put in the same class. I was happy to have my camera to take pictures in the present moment of all the fun, friends, and memories.

I loved to document all of my last days of school, family parties, field trips, and special events. Getting my pictures developed at Costco was one of my highlights for the summer. Especially with the disposable cameras – you just never know how the pictures are going to turn out. Then in the 7th or 8th grade, I invested in a digital camera. I saved up all of my money for this purchase, and was so excited to take it to school and family events. I’ve always been a photo hoarder, but getting the camera really stepped up my game. It gave me the opportunity to not only have the pictures as hard copies, but digital copies as well. I was so hyped to buy SD cards for my camera to make sure that I always had them backed up online, and on a chip. Deleting photos was really hard for me, and on an 8th grader salary, buying SD cards got pricey. But I did it anyways because I refused to delete memories even if they were uploaded online.

Now as an adult, my obsession with saving pictures is basically the same – but grew as technology got better. My partner doesn’t get why I feel the need to keep pictures of basically the same thing from different angles. I’m that friend that wants more than 1 picture from different angles and heights, but will still keep them all regardless. I’ve gone to the extent of getting a 200 GB SD card for my phone, but also backing everything up on the computer and on my phone that I pay for yearly for storage. That’s basically thousands of photos and videos saved on 3 different platforms – and I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. I have had my fair share of files being deleted, phone being stolen, and XYZ that has resulted in me losing my pictures. When it’s time to get a new phone, I always try to make sure that nothing will get deleted. That’s honestly one of my worst fears because my photos mean so much to me.

I love pictures – even if I’m not in them. I’m an extremely sentimental person, and even at a young age I’ve felt the need to preserve and remember memories and certain points in my life. Subconsciously, I am keeping all of my pictures because I know that there will be a time where I look back and some people won’t be with me anymore, or times have changed, or people have moved away. Pictures make me super happy to look back on, but can also give me an overwhelming feeling of sadness, knowing I can never go back to those moments and relive it with the people in the pictures. It’s like reliving parts of my life, or seeing my life from my point of view. When moments pass, all we have are memories and pictures.

I guess in a way, I fear that I will forget. That’s why I find it hard to delete pictures that ultimately have no importance. Like a picture of the sky, or a sign, or my food, all of these things that I can do without on my backup system that would clear a lot of room on my $29.99 a year for 200 GB. But I love getting little notifications letting me see what I did on that day 4 years ago, and so forth, even if it is random everyday mundane things. I’m so busy pushing forward, trying to get to the next goal, next stage in my life, that looking back on what was is comforting. It’s nice to live in the moment, but also have something to look back on, like a little souvenir from that occasion.

Especially with my 97 year old Tatay, pictures are important. Pre-COVID, my extended family would visit and have dinner at Tatay’s every other Sunday. But since COVID, we have yet to have another family gathering in his house, especially since he is high risk. Stopping these visits really took a toll on his memory and health. When my family and I stop by to say hi for less than 5 minutes, he doesn’t remember us with masks on. Recently, we’ve been showing him photos of him and us, or him and his other grandchildren, in hopes that it will trigger some memory. I’m happy to dig through my collection and hope to find something that will get him to remember us.

I’m notorious for saving close to every picture I take on my camera roll to my SD card and then backing them up to my cloud. I am fully aware and admit that I am a memory hoarder. It’s such a mix of emotions, knowing that you’re living in the moment and documenting what is happening right then and there. And then weeks, months, years down the road you forget about that memory until you come across those photos again. And you relive those moments, remembering the little things, down to your outfit, how those shoes were bothering you because you were just breaking them in, what food you were eating, how you got there because you took a picture in your Uber, and all these little details that would’ve been forgotten. And for a moment, you’re taken back to that time. I love getting those little reminders like, “8 years ago on this day you were doing this…” It gives me a second to pause, and appreciate the memories I made and documented with the people I was closest to at the time. I’m very sentimental in that way. And sometimes I picture myself as an old woman, when I’m about Tatay’s age, looking through all the pictures that I’ve backed up over the years, remembering all the good times, all the people that were a part of my life, reminiscing and trying to remember the life I lived.

Melonaire Juice

Growing up, Justine remembers going to picnics, birthday parties at the park, barbeques, and other social gatherings on warm sunny days. At these parties, there was always one item that was on the menu – her parents’ melon juice. The ice cold melon juice, with the freshly shredded cantaloupe strings, and square jellies dancing at the bottom of the cup, was the refreshing drink that she craved being in the sun all afternoon. The melon juice always quenched everyone’s thirst at these type of gatherings. She remembers her parents bringing the melon juice to her little sister’s volleyball fundraisers, and it would always be a hit. A lot of people would tell Justine’s parents to sell the melon juice and make a business out of it. They were flattered, but shied away from the idea. To this day, Justine associates all of these happy and fun memories with her parents’ famous melon juice. For as long as she can remember, making the melon juice has always been a team effort amongst her parents.

“It was like team work between my parents,” Justine said reminiscing. “It was their thing. Sometimes if my mom was at work, my dad would make it himself, but for the most part I always think of them together. And then my sister and I would… you know… enjoy the fruits of their labor,” she laughed.

When the pandemic and Shelter in Place orders hit, Justine, like many others, saw small businesses pop up from left and right. She described it as a new age – a Renaissance. She was thoroughly inspired by all the people she saw starting up their own business ventures and running with their ideas. Justine was in awe, she wondered how much courage it took these small business owners to pursue their passion projects and side hustles. She admired how brave they were to not care about the judgements of others and stepping out of their comfort zones. Justine wondered if she would ever have that kind of courage to go after a business venture for herself.

It wasn’t until her little sister started her jewelry business that Justine thought, “Maybe I can start a side hustle too.” Her little sister, without knowing it, was the push that Justine needed to dip her toe in the entrepreneur world. After all, if not during a pandemic – where she had more free time than she’s had in years – then when? COVID-19 pushed Justine to start Melonaire Juice, even though she was very anxious about the whole thing. Still, she wanted to spend her time in quarantine doing something productive, that she enjoyed, and that could make her some extra income on the side.

Justine got the idea to use her parents’ cantaloupe juice recipe since it was always a success anywhere they brought it. She remembered all the good memories that the melon juice reminded her of, and wanted to spread that same happiness to those around her. During the summer time, she asked her parents how they would feel if she used their melon juice recipe and started selling it to people outside of their circle. After all, they only shared it with family and those that turned into family, like her sister’s volleyball team. They threw that ball right back in her court and told her they would support her if she chose to do it. It was her mom that hinted closer to yes and mentioned that maybe it was a good idea because the weather was nice and still warm in the Bay Area. Justine was happy that her parents were on board with her idea, and she was excited to include them in the next steps – like designing a logo, naming the business, and how to advertise.

In fact, that was Justine’s favorite part of the process – getting it all started and deciding the aesthetics of her business. She is all about the vision, and was excited to use her creativity and bring her visions to life. Justine bounced back name ideas with her best friends and parents, and Melonaire Juice was the winner. Finally having a name for her small business made it all the more real. She teamed up with my little sister to create her logo, tweaking her ideas and tailoring them to her liking. Justine would send the progress logo photos to her parents every time she got an update. It was very important to her to keep her parents in the loop because she felt so grateful that they had her back and approved of her using their “recipe.” She wanted to do right by them and include them in the process.

Once Justine had her official Melonaire Juice logo, she was motivated to figure out the packaging. Packaging was very important to Justine because she knew she would have to take product photos to advertise the cantaloupe juice. Being a person with an artistic eye, she already had visions of what kind of shots she wanted to post to promote it. Justine’s goal was to have everything – from the logo, to the packaging, to the photos, to the color schemes on Instagram – be visually pleasing. The colors she used for the logo and Instagram page were purposely picked to have the viewer associate Melonaire Juice with warm weather, being a refreshing drink, being outside in the sun, and to have a tropical theme. Everything started coming together, but Justine’s doubts quickly took over her mind. On top of that, she was on a time clock, was she going to drop the melon juice while it was still summer time, or would she talk herself out of it and would have to wait until after winter passed?

The creating process was Justine’s favorite part of starting her small business. But in the back of her mind she always had doubts about what she was doing. Justine would try to distract herself by just pushing on to the next step to get her business on its feet. But when everything was complete and she had no more steps to take other than publicly announcing a pre-order date, her self-doubt was more amplified than ever. Justine describes herself as a very anxious person, and she went through every scenario possible on why people wouldn’t buy from her. She went back on forth on whether opening up Melonaire Juice was a good business move or not. It was a battle between Justine vs. Justine, and she either had to fight for her small business, or fall victim to the self-negative talk she fed herself. She had no choice but to confront each question of doubt head on, and convince herself that her melon juice was worth a shot. She wanted to make sure that her product stood out, and got discouraged with the idea that people wouldn’t give her melon juice a try because they could easily get something similar at a local taqueria. But she has never seen the Filipino version of agua fresca, especially a cantaloupe version served with the toppings her family recipe offered.

“I would ask myself: what makes me different, and what makes this product different?” Justine said replaying her train of thought at the time. She remembers all the questions she would ask herself, “Are people even going to buy it? What if only my friends buy it? Would it be able to travel word of mouth?”

Every time she had these doubts, she would circle back with her best friends, family, and boyfriend. Justine is grateful for the contribution they had in getting Melonaire Juice up and running. No one discouraged her more than herself. Her support system around her encouraged her to keep going and follow through to see where she could take Melonaire Juice. Justine’s boyfriend, Matt, was very supportive from the beginning and really pushed for Justine to sell her melon juice. Matt is African American, and Justine always wondered if people outside of the Filipino culture would think the melon juice, shredded cantaloupe, and square jellies was a weird combo, but he loved it. He also brought some of the juice for his family to try and they loved it as well. It brought Justine comfort knowing that other people that didn’t grow up on the drink enjoyed it and encouraged her to sell it to the public.

“I know ultimately I have the last word, but for the type of person I am and how anxious I can get, I can’t stress enough how grateful I am to have my loved ones support me,” Justine said humbly.

So, after a lot of back and forth, Justine decided to launch Melonaire Juice and drop a pre-order date. She began advertising her juice on social media, using the photos she previously took at a park. The photo shows the mason jar dripping with cold streaks of water, the orange tint of the juice pairing well against the blue logo. This photo screamed “refreshing,” and as the Bay Area went through a heatwave, it definitely caught people’s eye and attention. Justine’s closest friends shared her content on Instagram, helping spread the word that she was selling cantaloupe juice. Even though her friend group is pretty tight knit and they were each other’s main crew, each friend still had other friends and followers that could branch out the business. She was happy that just a simple post share on their stories could bring in friends of friends.

When Justine dropped the pre-order date, she anxiously waited to see if people would reach out and order. She admits that she set the bar very low for herself because she didn’t want to be disappointed, knowing that this would be her first go around with only her friends knowing and sharing her content. She expected things to be slow initially because everything would be by word of mouth. Justine thought that if she could sell 10 jars on her launch date, she would be very grateful. To her surprise, she exceeded that number by a great deal. Justine couldn’t believe it, and saying she was grateful for the overwhelming support she got from her friends and family was an understatement. She made her round of drop off’s that weekend, thanking everyone she knew personally, with a mask on and some distance, of course. Her orders from her first launch were mostly close friends and family, still, she knew that it could get bigger because each person posted it on their social media after receiving the juice. Little did she know, it was just a matter of time before she would get other customer traffic through her original customers.

After her first launch, Justine eagerly prepared herself for the second drop. To her surprise, she hit a road block she never expected to come by. Justine prepared herself for the change in numbers of people buying, knowing some weeks would be better than others, she prepared herself for people being late and not picking up their order due to schedule conflicts, she even prepared her kitchen and fridge situation, knowing it would get really crowded around pick up weekends. What she didn’t prepare for was a nationwide mason jar shortage one week after her first drop. Justine was baffled – a nationwide mason jar shortage?! She didn’t even know that could be a thing. But it was, and this was her new reality. Due to COVID, everyone was buying mason jars to pickle different items, and suddenly the once ready available mason jar was a hard item to come by. Justine went to different stores across the Bay Area, searching high and low on the internet, and ultimately deciding that she would most likely have to look for another container to house her melon juice.

It was a set back that Justine was really sad about. After all, she is the aesthetic queen. She had a vision for how her product would be packaged, and the second week of orders, that all had to change. She found herself scrambling to find a good alternative. At first, she thought about telling her customers that they can bring their own mason jars for her to fill, but that idea was quickly thrown out because of COVID. Justine wanted to make sure that she was keeping herself and other customers safe. Justine ended up settling for heavy duty deli containers, because it was about the same size as a mason jar, and could still be used after the drink was done. She laughed at the idea that her customers could get a 2 in 1 deal – Melonaire Juice and free tupperware. The packaging was a small hiccup that Justine had to get around, but once she found an alternative, she was back on social media advertising her next drop. She reassured her customers that the packaging changed due to a nationwide mason jar shortage, but the melon juice was still the same great taste.

With the container situation solved, Justine continued to promote Melonaire Juice. Her small business was doing well for being new and just starting up. Justine even started to get orders from people she didn’t know personally, proving that the Instagram promoting, with the help of her friends, was working. Still, she would get so anxious when she would post on her page saying she was taking pre-orders. It was a constant high and low feeling. Justine would be anxious to announce her next drop, and would fear that nobody would order. Once she would get some orders in, she would feel relieved and could finally breathe again. But that anxious dread would always return the next drop after, a cycle that kept repeating, putting her on a rollercoaster of anxiety. Because of this, she would try to prepare herself for orders declining and fluctuating depending on the weather, so she wouldn’t get disappointed.

Another road block she encountered was the pick up situation. Meloniare Juice offered pick up and drop off options to their customers. As Melonaire Juice reached customers that Justine didn’t know personally, she got a little concerned with giving out her address to strangers. Her mom felt the same way, and didn’t want others to know where they lived. Luckily, Justine’s house is close to a well-known park, and she would do pick ups from that location if she didn’t know a customer too well. Still, she is grateful for all the customers that she has had that she didn’t know personally, it’s just a matter of privacy and making her parents feel more comfortable with the business.

With the drops that she has done, she has found a routine that works for her and her schedule. Justine takes pride in giving her customers the freshest products, so she has a very particular system that she follows to ensure her customers are getting Melonaire Juice at its best. She will head to the store a day or two before pick up day, and carefully picks out the ripest cantaloupes available. And she always comes with the intent to be on the safe side, purchasing more in case any last minute orders come in. She does all the prep work the day of pick ups, and starts about 2 hours before the first pick up is scheduled, this way, the juice isn’t sitting in the fridge over night. The night before, Justine clears out her fridge, to make sure that there is enough room for all of her orders. And the heavy duty deli containers have proved to help with the space issue since they can be stacked on top of each other. Once Justine has all of the orders done, she stores them in the fridge, but switches them to the freezer the last 15-20 minutes before pick up so they are super chilled and ready to devour on a hot day. Justine provides a plastic for so all of that shredded cantaloupe and jellies don’t go to waste.

Justine likes to prep all orders the day of and hours before pick up so the cantaloupe is at its freshest. She does this so her customers can enjoy Melonaire Juice longer. It lasts in the fridge for about 3-4 days, and some customers have even reached out saying it was still good after 5 days. Still, she recommends that the melon juice be consumed within the first 3 days to get the freshest taste. The heavy duty deli containers definitely gives Justine the luxury to give Melonaire Juice in generous servings, so it will last more than 1 sitting. Especially on warm days, it is the perfect chilled snack to come home to.

But as time pushed on and the weather started changing, an ice cold refreshing juice wasn’t in high demand anymore. Justine had planned for this, and also worried about it before launching. She knew once Daly City and the Bay Area’s notorious fog and cold weather came around, that her small business would be affected. Melon juice is associated with warm weather, outdoor gatherings, and the summer time, her predictions were true, and she saw that less people were putting in orders as the fall came around. Cantaloupes were also going out of season, and even though they are sold year round, they are at their peak of flavor from June – August. Justine was hesitant on what to do next with Melonaire Juice.

“Since it was my first time starting a business, especially as a side hustle, I was kind of just feeling things out and seeing how people reacted to it,” Justine said. “But when I noticed that the weather had an effect on sales and also knowing it’s not really melon season, I was weighing out the pros and cons to seeing if I should take a break or not. I didn’t really have a plan to sell year round. I guess ideally that’s what I would want, but I also don’t mind taking a little break.”

Still, Justine was hesitant to go on a little hiatus. She didn’t want people to forget about Melonaire Juice since she wouldn’t be promoting it and posting about it as much. She knew that going on a break would likely be the case when fall and winter came, but she didn’t have a set plan on what to do. She didn’t want to lose engagement with followers and customers if she wasn’t selling. But ultimately, Justine made the decision to take a break and open up Melonaire Juice again when the weather permitted. It also gave her more time to brainstorm more ideas for her small business.

On her hiatus, Melonaire Juice did their first catering gig at Justine’s best friend’s COVID safe baby shower. The mama-to-be really wanted melon juice at her baby shower since everyone else would be turning up with alcohol. Justine was thrilled that her best friend wanted Melonaire Juice to cater, and wanted to fulfill her best friends wants and needs since a COVID baby shower with few friends wasn’t the ideal plan for a first time mom. The melon juice was a hit at the party, and guests started to pair it with their alcohol. Many people commented that the sweet cantaloupe juice was a great chase to go with their alcoholic beverage. This discovery gave Justine more ideas on how to promote her melon juice, and opened the doors to more opportunities aside from personal individual sized packaging. Since then, Justine has been thinking of the catering route for parties, events, and other social gatherings.

Justine’s goal for Melonaire Juice is to continue to grow the business. Since discovering that the melon juice pairs well with alcohol from the COVID safe baby shower, she has been entertaining the idea of catering once COVID calms down and more parties and gatherings are taking place. She still has to figure out small things like the container which she will transport the melon juice in for parties, but she’s excited to see what Melonaire Juice will evolve into in 2021. She also wants to experiment with pop-up sales at local parks when the weather permits. Justine’s goal is to open Melonaire Juice back up at the end of February, when warmer weather is expected to make its appearance back in the Bay Area. Customers can expect to see Justine and her famous cantaloupe juice at packed parks like Dolores Park, Gellert Park, and other picnic areas.

Justine’s advice to other small business owners is to be open to the journey. She knows it’s a lot easier said than done from experience, but try not to focus on worrying too much about the outcome. She explains that starting your own business should be fun, and it’ll be something you’re proud of once you push yourself out of your comfort zone. Speaking up about your small business will help get the word around that you are selling and advertising a certain product. If those closest to you don’t know about your small business, how will others hear about it? Also, asking close friends and family to share and repost your content will really help bring in new customers.

Justine decided to start Melonaire Juice during Shelter in Place, a time where she, and many others, struggled with finding something that kept them occupied and brought them joy. COVID slowed down a lot of people’s work, and being cooped up in the house with restrictions was very gloomy. Justine always had the entrepreneurial mindset, but could never find the time to take it seriously because of her busy schedule. Suddenly, COVID gave her the opportunity to test the waters with a business venture she had given much thought to, but never thought of pursuing. She loves that she gets to pass on her family recipe that has brought her so much joy over the years. And even though she plans on having different variations and experimenting with flavors and toppings, she is content knowing that Melonaire Juice was inspired by the fun memories associated with her parents’ original melon juice.

“My work slowed down,” Justine said remembering how COVID and the Shelter in Place disrupted her life. “It gave me something else to do, focus on, put my energy into, and grow it into something I’m passionate about. And I’m excited for people to try it… Plus there’s also the emotional attachment to it, knowing it’s based off my parents’ recipe… I had the opportunity to put out a food item that brought my family together and would start conversations when they would bring it to events where there were people who weren’t familiar with this Filipino food. And also just rep the Filipino culture, I think that’s really dope.”

KA.LE’A Creates

Ever since Janelle’s daughter, Kayla Kale’a, was born a little over 3 years ago, she found herself doing a lot more “Do It Yourself” projects – especially decorations. For Kayla’s baptism, 1st birthday, and 2nd birthday party, Janelle made all of the decorations by hand. She described the process as tedious and time consuming since she had to cut everything one by one. Still, she did it every time because she knew her local party stores didn’t have the aesthetic she wanted. She was never completely satisfied with the items sold at party stores, and really loved the idea of adding personalized touches to her daughter’s decorations. After Kayla’s 1st and 2nd birthday party, Janelle finally decided to invest in a Cricut. She knew that she wanted to customize all of her daughter’s parties and milestones going forward. And it was also a long time coming since Janelle wanted a Cricut since Kayla was 5 months old!

The Cricut has been the new must have item for every DIY fanatic. But what is it even? And what’s the rave about? Janelle describes the Cricut as a machine that makes very precise cuts. It cuts through different materials exactly how you want it – and in bulk. Some Cricuts can cut through materials such as thin wood, acrylics, leather, fabric, and other materials. It can also be used as an engraver. Janelle says it’s like a printer, except it doesn’t print, but it can draw and write for you if you have the specialized pens. The crafter would design their designs on the Cricut’s app, where it would soon come to life. Basically, the Cricut is every crafter’s dream.

Playing around with the Cricut can also get a little expensive. To be good at something, one has to practice. For the Cricut, practice means using materials for trial and error. Janelle confesses that she still makes a lot of mistakes, even though she has had it for a good amount of time. She is still learning about her machine and how to improve or use different techniques. So she doesn’t consider herself a “master” of the Cricut just yet. She watches a lot of YouTube videos and tutorials to learn more about it and expand her knowledge. Little did she know that her love for crafting would soon turn into her small business, KA.LE’A Creates.

When the mandatory Shelter in Place was in effect, Janelle needed a creative outlet. She started her Instagram craft page to post and show what she created after purchasing her Cricut. She had no intentions of making her craft page a business page because she didn’t want to invest so much time into a small business. She also didn’t think that she would sell that many things. But to her surprise, a lot of her friends reached out to her, offering to pay for customized products. So, around June 2020, with the pandemic showing no signs of letting up anytime soon, Janelle decided to making her craft page into a business. She was worried that, like many others, she would be left unemployed or furloughed. With some encouragement from her brothers, boss, and best friend, Janelle finally decided to really invest in her business, and KA.LE’A Creates was born. They reassured her that her creativity could get her far if she really tried.

“Luckily, my job and income wasn’t affected by the pandemic,” Janelle said. “However, it did suffer in terms of clientele for a little while, leaving me with just a little extra time to do crafts on the side.”

Janelle named her small business after her daughter, Kayla Kale’a. Janelle knew from the beginning that she wanted to somehow incorporate her daughter’s name in it, and she came up with the name and tagline KA.LE’A Creates – create hapiness. In Hawaiian language, the word “Le’a,” by itself means, “joy, pleasure, and happiness.” This is why Janelle decided to separate her daughter’s name and break it up into two parts so the word “Le’a” was isolated. It seemed like the perfect name for her small business because crafting really does bring her joy and happiness.

Even though Janelle loved crafting, she still had a lot of doubts about starting a crafting business. She started to doubt her creativity, and the thought of being her own investor really stressed her out. She went back and forth on the idea, thinking it wouldn’t be worth it to pursue a crafting DIY business. Janelle does admit that she gets discouraged very often – almost every week – but she doesn’t want to throw in the towel. She just wants to keep on learning and improving. Like the rest of us, Janelle wishes she had more time in the day – more time to focus on her small business, to perfect each project and task at hand, each item she customizes, and each original product drop. She humbly acknowledges that there is always room for improvement.

“I know that with each product that I put out, that there will always be something I can do better,” Janelle said, explaining how she mentally prepares herself for ups and downs that comes with being a small business owner. “I try not to take each negative feedback to heart, and use it more as a way to learn how to do things better.”

Janelle first advertised her customized products on her personal Instagram. She was pretty successful getting customers through her personal account because it helped in letting her followers know what she was selling and what she could create. Her best friend, Anthony, who is also a small business owner, helped promote her products in the beginning. Others started reposting her content as well, helping spread the word that Janelle was the girl to go to if you wanted a customized product. During COVID, a lot of people have made the conscious effort to support small businesses more, so Janelle has definitely felt all the love.

Janelle was surprised by not only the amount of support she got from family, friends, and strangers, but other small businesses as well. She was surprised when larger and well known small businesses would reach out to have customized products made. From there, Janelle got a glimpse of how tight-knit the small business / crafting community is. She was surprised and happy that other small businesses trusted her and her craft to make items for their own small business. Making products for other small businesses also helped get KA.LE’A Creates’ name out there to people she did not know personally. She has completed many orders to date, but her favorite ones to do are for other small businesses because she is supporting them and hooking them up with a cheaper price. She loves that she gets to help others in her community and witness them grow – as a business and as a person.

Her initial prediction that nobody would be interested in customized products proved to be wrong. When Janelle first started KA.LE’A Creates, her most popular items were her decals. Then she started advertising her customized reusable masks, and those became the top item. As she dropped more and more content about personalizing different things like keychains, water bottles, cake toppers, clothing, etc. – she started to see that there wasn’t really a top #1 popular item. It was always changing depending on what people wanted, and what time of the year it was. If a customer had an idea for a customization that has never been done before, Janelle would take it on and see if she could do it.

“I can customize a whole lot of things, whether it’s clothing, party decorations, drinkware, I’ve even made stencils for someone to paint their shoes with,” Janelle said, thinking of all the personalized items she has done since opening KA.LE’A Creates. “Customers generally inquire about specific items they’d like to get customized and I try my best to see if it’s doable before turning them down. And most the of the time it’s doable.”

Janelle expected that the holiday season would bring in a lot more business for KA.LE’A Creates, especially since she was dropping her personalized snow globe ornaments. And she was right, she was booked and busy with orders. Majority of the orders she had over the holiday season were mainly gifts for others. After all, customized gifts are very thoughtful and are fun to keep as keepsakes. She felt so grateful that people were doing their holiday shopping and buying from KA.LE’A Creates, as she had doubted how far she could take the DIY craft business in the past.

Getting a decoration order for a wedding was the cherry on top for Janelle. After so much self-doubt in the past, getting the wedding order made her realize how far she could really take KA.LE’A Creates if she really tried, put her mind into it, and gave it time to grow. Janelle was so happy with how the wedding decorations turned out, and her coworker was thrilled with the end results as well. She has so content knowing that she could help her coworker out, since COVID ruined a lot of the original plans for the wedding already. Janelle felt so honored that her friend trusted her to make decorations for her big day.

As much as she loves making her customers’ visions and crafts come to life, Janelle has a couple of ideas herself. Her last “big drop” was her RYM (Respect Your Mother) collection. At first, she wanted to make a “mom tee” clothing line. The more she sat on the idea, the vision for her first clothing collection kept evolving. She wanted the first line she dropped to be a mom tee, but also a PSA about Mother Nature. Janelle and Kayla would take daily walks and they would see used masks, gloves, and other trash on the street and in parking lots. That’s where Janelle got the inspiration to go in the direction of “Mother Nature,” still a mom tee, but with multiple meanings. The RYM line was the perfect combination of everything Janelle embodies – being a mother and also thinking about how she can be more eco-friendly.

Besides having full-time job and having her own small business, Janelle is a mother first and foremost. She wants her customers to know and remember that she is a full-time working single mom, and juggling all these things can get pretty crazy. On top of all the madness, she is moving her and Kayla back to O’ahu, Hawaii. Janelle wants her customers to keep these things in mind when she doesn’t reply to DM’s or order requests as quickly as some would like. She is trying her best to balance everything out and is still learning how to multi-task her day job, small business, and practicing self-care, while still putting her daughter first. She realizes that it is very likely that she can get some orders wrong, so patience and compassion is all she asks.

“I want to be able to enjoy my craft, but when people are persistent and think that their orders will be done once it is placed and the next day they’ll have the item, it gets really stressful,” She explained.

Because she’s so busy, Janelle really has to plan out her schedule. She has always been a planner, so knowing that she is going to do on a week to week basis really helps her stay organized. When Janelle is working on orders for KA.LE’A Creates, it is most likely taking place during Kayla’s naptime. She really values her time with her daughter, especially working a 9-5 job. If Janelle gets home and Kayla is awake, she will spend quality time with her until it is time to put her down for bed, and then she’ll fulfill orders, working out, cleaning, or anything else that needs to get done. She wants to give Kayla quality mother daughter time because she doesn’t want her daughter to think that all she does is work – working a full-time job and then coming straight home to work on KA.LE’A Creates. Especially since an item or several items she works on can take anywhere from 2-3 hours.

Janelle’s advice to other crafters and small business owners is to stay organized. Especially for those who are parents, Janelle stresses the importance of keeping everything neat and tidy. Everyone can relate – starting off very organized, and little by little things start to pile up, and you’re faced with a huge mess. That’s exactly how it went for Janelle, as orders started coming in, things started compiling, and she found herself in not only a cluttered living situation, but mentality as well. When she would see how unorganized and disheveled everything got, it made running her business stressful and took the fun out of it. She lost a lot of time for herself and Kayla when things started to get unorganized, so now, she really relies on keeping everything in line.

For the time being, Janelle is keeping KA.LE’A Creates as her side hustle that brings her a lot of happiness and creativity. She would love if her small business could one day be her main source of income, but she is sticking with her career goal in Human Services. Janelle laughs and says that KA.LE’A Creates will remain a side hustle until she retires – which she doesn’t plan on doing anytime soon. So until she retires, you can find her working on her crafts after her little one is asleep.

Janelle and Kayla are back in O’ahu after the much anticipated big move. While they’re settling down and unpacking, Janelle is very hopeful for 2021 and where she can take KA.LE’A Creates. She still plans on continuing her small business from Hawaii, after she settles down in her new home and job. She is keeping her fingers crossed to open back up and take orders again in February. Janelle has a lot of ideas brewing, and she can’t wait to capitalize on them. Her RYM collection did better than she expected, and she is excited to work on dropping more of her own gear and clothing. All the love that she received in 2020 motivates her to keep going with her small business. Janelle loves that it keeps her creative juices flowing, as she finds crafting very therapeutic and relaxing.

Being a part of the crafting community is what touches Janelle the most. She has participated in a handful of giveaways, some where she reached out to other small businesses first, and some where they reached out to her. When small businesses reach out to her to participate in a giveaway, they will usually offer to pay for the items. But Janelle usually donates her item as a way to support other small businesses and their followers. Especially during COVID, she is glad that she has found a community that welcomed her with open arms, since she believed it would be the complete opposite going into it. Her love of crafting has opened the door for making connections with others, and supporting other small businesses.

“Going into it, I first thought that there would be so much competition, but really it’s not about competing for customers,” Janelle said. “Since I opened, other craft shops that have found me have been really helpful and supportive in so many ways. It makes me really proud to be a part of this craft / small business community. It just goes to show that we all love to help each other out, especially during these times.”

Shelter in Place Diaries – Serge : Positive High System

California is just a little over 4 weeks into Shelter in Place. Originally, the plan was to shutdown for 3 weeks and hopefully arrive back to work with our usual routines at the end of March / early April. As the days went on, America soon realized that things were definitely not going to be back to normal in 3 weeks time. Even after things open up again, we as a society will slowly ease back into life before COVID-19, but with plenty of restrictions. Its safe to say that COVID-19 will have permanent effects to how we maneuver on a daily basis.

The 3 week mandatory shutdown was tough on business owners, but especially small business owners. It was hard enough to close for 3 weeks, but the extended Shelter in Place Order is forcing a lot of business owners to change up how they do business. This is especially true for Serge and his fitness business.

Serge is the creator and owner of “Positive High System.” He’s a Fitness Coach, eager to help those who want to improve their way of life through food and movement. He believes his Positive High program could benefit anyone who wants more knowledge and guidance in the fitness world. Before COVID-19, Serge was doing in-person training / group training. That, of course, is not possible anymore with the social distancing and Shelter in Place Orders. His clientele dropped by over 50% since COVID-19. As a small business owner, Serge knew that he would have to switch it up if he wants Positive High System to ride this pandemic wave and make it out in the end.

It is understandable that many business owners are frazzled and anxious about their business and their means of making a living. The unknown is what gets the best of people. Surprisingly, Serge, with his upbeat yet chill attitude, has decided to look at the bright side of this pandemic. It was already in his plans to open up the virtual / online component of training for Positive High. Online sessions were going to be Serge’s next business move later on in the year. Even though the timing is different, Serge took this as a message from the universe to act on the idea now. He has no choice but to. Serge has converted all of his in-person training sessions to live personal training classes on Zoom.

“Life is good,” he said on his vlog as he ended a workday early.

Serge is looking on the bright side of this Shelter in Place Order. He loves the fact that he gets to spend more time with his girlfriend and son. He shares that before COVID-19, he would get home around 8 or 9 PM. But now, he ends his day around 7-7:30 PM, and gets to take breaks during the day to do activities with his son, Elijah. Serge is a very active father, and the Shelter in Place is bringing him and his family closer. He’s finding time to reconnect with family through gaming apps, still running his business, spending more time with family, and doing more hobbies and activities with no time crunch.

As if he wasn’t already making the most of his time, Serge puts his phone on “airplane mode” by 7:30 PM to be more present with his family. Instead of looking at what could go wrong, Serge is deciding to take the less traveled route – taking it day by day, adjusting if need be, and not worrying about the unknown.

Serge launched his new Positive High System app that helps it’s users log their food and beverage intake, exercise, goals, accomplishments, etc. What is unique about this app is Serge is just a message away if you need encouragement or help. There is also a video section of workouts you could do at home. Serge stresses that the point of logging food is not be obsessive, to calorie count, or make drastic changes – but to be aware of what you’re doing – eating wise and exercise wise. By being aware, you’re in a better position to see what it is that you can tweak to benefit your health if that is your goal. Saying Serge has gracefully transitioned during this pandemic is an understatement!

Check out “Shelter in Place Diaries – Serge : Positive High System” by clicking:

Time

It’s Sunday, my family and I just got back from a late lunch to celebrate my mom’s birthday. Tomorrow work will start up again, but most importantly, Monday is blog post day. Truth is, I ain’t got shit. I pulled my writing deck of cards and I went into Merl’s room.

“Pick my blog post,” I said and spread out the deck. This deck has definitely come in handy. I usually try not to rely on it and draw writing inspiration through my experiences, but when I’ve had a heavy week and my brain is tired, the last thing I want to do is force some inspiration when it just isn’t there. She drew a card.

“What don’t you have enough time to do? Why?”

We both read the card silently, processing the prompt.

“To write this blog post,” she said. We both started laughing, but she was right.

Recently, I find myself thinking and saying out loud, “there’s just not enough hours in the day.” And then I quickly realize just by saying that cliché sentence that, 1. That statement proves that I’m getting old, and 2. I have entered adulthood.

But it’s true. I find myself spreading myself thin. There’s so many things I want to do, so many local places I want to go to, so many ideas I want to make come to life… and then, it’s 5 PM, I take the commute back home, and I just want to go to sleep.

I love to sleep. I can sleep any time, anywhere, and everywhere. Sleeping is my favorite pastime. But I realized long ago that sleeping is my escape. Stressed out? Sleep. Sad? Sleep. Happy? Sleep. Angry? Sleep. The feeling of going to sleep is so calming. No matter what I’m going through, good or bad, losing myself in my REM sleep is comforting. Knowing that for a short time I get to escape my reality, and my mind is resting and not over thinking every little detail of my life. You know that feeling when you’ve had a good sleep or nap, you wake up, and in those first couple of seconds waking up you’re there thinking, “Where am I? What time is it? What day is it today?” I love that feeling of being well-rested, which is probably why I try to sleep every opportunity I can.

But I’m a sleepy girl because I’m a busy girl. I don’t know when it happened, but all of a sudden I only have pockets of time for X amount of things. And I feel myself spreading myself thin with work, a social life, trying to keep the dream alive of becoming a writer, trying to take those steps to getting my foot in the door, planning the next steps in my romantic life, keeping up with friends, all the while trying to save my money. I find myself lost in the chaos of everyday life.

And even though I find myself always trying to catch up on sleep, sometimes I feel like I’m wasting my life away. But how can I do things I enjoy when I’m so burnt out? I sleep to escape the uncertainty of my life. I’m a dreamer in every aspect. I dream big, I have bigger plans, I want to achieve greatness.

I feel like there are a lot of people like me. That feel like somehow, some day, one day, they’ll achieve their dreams. But then I think of my current situation. Where I feel like I’m stuck, and I don’t know what path to take. So in the meantime, I hustle and I do what I got to do before I figure it out. But ironically, “doing what I got to do before I figure it out,” is probably what’s in the way of me “figuring it out.” There’s not enough hours in the day. I’m too busy that I can’t even think of a “plan” to follow. And then I realize, that’s how people get stuck. That’s how people lose the drive to achieve their dreams – getting stuck in the same routine and being too tired and burnt out to do anything about it. Note to self : stop putting off thinking of a plan. Make time even if there’s not enough time.

I love spending time with my friends. When I’m feeling off, or isolate myself for too long, I know hanging out with them will make my heart full. Except, we’re getting older. We all have responsibilities and different schedules, and we all can’t just hangout like we used to. Everything needs planning out. Every hangout planned out atleast a week or 2 in advance, and even then everyone may not even be free. Sometimes we don’t have enough time. But I’ve learned to make time, especially with hanging out with my friends. Truth is, we’re not always going to be in the same area. One day, living so close to each other will be a thing of the past and we’ll look back and wish we made more time.

Anyways, my point is, I don’t have time to do anything, but at the same time I have all the time in the world. It’s so hard to pick and choose what gets your time and what doesn’t outside of work. And when things I enjoy don’t get enough time, I find myself in a funk. Questioning wtf I’m doing with my life and where my time goes.

Self care. You see that shit plastered all over. This can mean doing a face mask, taking a bubble bath, doing a skin care routine, or watching your favorite show. It’s different for everyone. I’ve realized self care is really important. Carving out that “me” time is really vital when you feel like you’re going through life in a daze. My “me” time is this blog. Even though its stressful to produce something every week, it keeps me on my toes. It forces me to do something I love on a deadline, so I’m forced to take that me time, not just sleep.

For me, going home right after work and sleeping is “me time.” And sometimes having no plans is the best plan. And then there are other times where having a hangout is fulfilling to my soul. I’ve found myself not having time to do things I love. And the first step is to be aware that this is happening. A change in routine is always good, especially when you feel like your days are on repeat. But I can’t just wait for everything to fall into place on it’s own. I need to take the time and make the time to get shit done.

You know that feeling where you can feel it in your soul that there is about to be change real soon? My gut feeling is telling me change is just over the horizon. I don’t know what, but I feel it. Call me crazy. But cue in J.Cole’s , 🎵 “My intuition is telling me there’ll be better days…” 🎵

Vacation: Finding My Balance Again

This is the time of the year I’ve been anticipating for so long. The perks of working at a preschool is staying on the “school” schedule, something I was not ready to let go of after I graduated. These periods of paid vacation give me time to unwind, think, get in touch with myself again, and hopefully recharge and get re-inspired.

The last couple of months, but more so the last couple of weeks, I’ve been feeling like I was dragging myself to the finish line. That finish line being this break. I was running out of gas, and faster than usual. I feel like I always get like that when I’m anticipating a long break/vacation. But this one felt different. Last year, I dragged myself to the finish line and had graduation to celebrate at the end of it all. It was the most relieving feeling ever. Now, I dragged myself to the finish line of winter break, this time, not much to celebrate.

Everytime my work has an extended amount of time off, I try to do things that I know I enjoy and things I never have time for. This morning, Justine and I hit the gym at 8 am. We used to go 2-3 times a week at 6 am, before my hours increased to fulltime. Now, I wake up at 5 am every weekday for work. It felt good to have an outlet to relieve some stress. And it also felt good to not have to rush to do something else right after.

I’ve been waiting for this break for so long because the best plans for me is no plans at all. I’ve been day dreaming of laying down at home watching TV, nowhere to go, no actual plan, in my pajamas most likely asleep. I’m constantly doing something everyday, and I just want a break. A break from adulting. And I definitely will have a couple days like that during these 2 weeks off! But I realized, this is the time to act and do.

During my summer break at work, where I got 2 consecutive weeks off, I did the whole “no plans, multiple days to yourself” thing for a little too long. I started to get so bored that I knew I’d regret not doing anything once work started up again. So I plan to do this break a little different.

I want to workout as many days as I can, when I want to, and if I want to. I want to catch up on shows that I always end up falling asleep to because of how tired I am at the end of a workday. I want to read the books I’ve put off to the side, and get re-inspired by feminist authors. I want to continue reading the Avatar the Last Airbender comic books that I have, because damn these comics answer a lot of questions I have! One of these comic books revealed the story of Zuko’s mom, and I was truly shook. Avatar is my obsession. I try to watch it from beginning to end every other year to feel more spiritual and woke. I’m not even kidding. To some it sounds ridiculous, but Avatar the Last Airbender is so deep, and holds a special place in my heart. Avatar faithful. I’ve been due for another showing from beginning to end, but my DVD player has been weird, it plays the DVD and then 5 minutes into any episode it blows out the speakers. The weirdest thing. So I haven’t been able to watch my Avatar for a minute. Christian tried to fix this problem by getting the whole series on Blu Ray, but he took the ps4 player with him while he visits SoCal during the break, so I’m still Avatar-less.

Anyways, I always try to get ahead of the game during these breaks and write a couple stories, so I’m not stressed out when Sunday/Monday comes around. I have 3-4 stories I have in the works right now, of people that want to share their stories. Right now I’m just doing all the interviewing and getting those details. I imagine this is what being a fulltime journalist will feel like. Except it’s kind’ve hard when I work 40 hours a week, also trying to maintain a social life, but keep my true passions in check all at the same time.

Keeping up this blog is basically like assigning yourself a final paper due every Monday. I’ve been out of school for a year, but I knew I would never be done with deadlines if I want to pursue a career as a writer / journalist. So I started assigning Mondays as my forever deadline, until I make it, and then you’ll catch me in a magazine or news columns. Breaks like this from my actual 8-5 job is what gives me that break to think creatively again. Reconnecting with myself is an important thing.

I thought I knew the definition of “self-care” when I was in college. Don’t get me wrong though, college was not easy. There were many times where I was literally mentally breaking down, and had to take a break. That’s where “self-care/treat yo-self” came into play for me. This would be in the form of a nap, face mask, literally walking away from the assignment, hanging out with friends, etc. But the thing with college was, once the final was turned in, once the presentation was over, once the whole ass class was over, there was relief. This adulting life…. this is different.

I think about this often and ususally think, “first world problems.” Because it’s true. I’m grateful that I wake up every morning and have a job to go to. I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to go to school and finish up a degree. I’m hopeful that there is a writing job out there that I will feel fulfilled. But I realized since I got out of school, that I relied so much on my next “break,” my next “vacation” period that would get me through. “Just X amount of days until ____ vacation,” is what would get me through in school and in work. But I realized, once I get out of the teaching field, I’m not going to have any long “break” to look forward to. And then what?

My mental health is so focused on break / vacation, that I really don’t know how I’ll transition to working a writing job not on the “school holiday” schedule. Break is where I recharge myself and give myself a break to relax. When I’m full blown adulting, I won’t have these 2 weeks to fall back on.

And it makes me wonder, how do people recharge? I already know that for me, it’s so easy to lose track of the things I love and enjoy doing because life and priorities get in the way. I have to work 8-5 to make money, I have to do xyz in order to get to xyz point. And in that routine, sometimes I lose track of what I really want. I get trapped in the labyrinth of adulting. But my break/vacation is what brings me back. I get the time to do things that I can’t regularly do when I work 40 hours a week. And it made me realize that that’s how some people get lost in their journey. They kind’ve get side tracked with doing adult grown person shit, and in doing so, lose sight of the end goal. Especially since it is so hard to transition from 1 career to the next. And I feel like that’s how some people get trapped into not doing what they really want, or not following their dreams.

This crossed my mind as I started planning my 2 week break. Since I’m fortunate to have these 2 weeks off, I plan to use it to my advantage, since I know I won’t always have this opportunity to unwind and relax. I also want to take this time to really hangout with friends. With life and everyone’s schedules, it’s so easy to just fall off for a couple of weeks. Everyone is in different stages of their lives, and for me and my friends, we like to catch up and talk about it, ususally over food.

Sadly, I’m kind’ve passed the point in my life where my friends and I can all just say “hey let’s all meet up at ____’s house,” on a whim. But I’ll gladly take these 2 weeks to remember what it’s like to not have any responsibility, to fall inlove again with the things that I have put to the side, and remember who I am.